A Song for You

Chapter 10

Anna just sat there looking stunned as I kissed her on the lips. It was something she desperately needed. It was something I desperately needed. Both of us desperately needed that kiss and I best hope it was well worth it. In my mind and in hopefully hers, it had to be one of the bridges that would eventually bring us back together as a couple again.

"Anna, are you ok?" I asked as I spoke up at last and she still looked very stunned.

"Y-Y-You still love me, Björn?!" Anna breathed, not able to come up with the right words.

"Anna, of course I love you," I replied reassuringly and I gently rubbed her arms. "I love you more than life itself."

"What about Lena?" Anna asked firmly and unconvinced.

I knew this question was going to come up and because of that, I sighed as soon as she asked that. It was time for me to tell her the truth, even if it was a year late. I hope she understands my reasonings for not telling her. I just simply thought she didn't care too much about me. At least not until I heard that beautiful song of hers on the radio. That song was clearly about me just like all the other songs on that album. Well, most of them anyways.

"Anna, look," I sighed once more and I began holding her tightly. "Let me be honest with you about Lena and I'm going to be brutally honest."

"What is it?" Anna asked curiously.

"Lena and I divorced 11 months ago," I replied, sounding very straightforward.

"You didn't?!" Anna exclaimed as she gasped in shock and tears began forming in her crystal blue eyes once more.

"I did," I replied.

All of this came as a shock to Anna and I don't think she can quite comprehend this situation. As far as I'm concerned, in her mind, Lena and I are still married. And because Lena and I were married for as long as we were, Anna lost her confidence. Like she completely lost her confidence and it was a really sad thing for me to comprehend as it finally hit me. She thought Lena was prettier than her. She thought Lena and I were soulmates. She thought that she herself was a jealous, crazy, psychotic person who never deserves her family and especially me. Just the fact that she's still beating herself up over something that happened 35 years ago and was my fault for at least more than half of it was just heartbreaking to watch.

"Why didn't you tell me, Björn?!" Anna exclaimed as she burst into tears once more. "We could've been back together already!"

"Anna, I'm so sorry I never told you," I replied as I held her even tighter. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings!"

"You just hurt my feelings by not telling me!" Anna exclaimed through her tears. "I thought you loved me!"

"Anna, listen to me," I replied as I let go of our embrace and made her look me in the eye. "The reason why I didn't tell you that Lena and I divorced is because I thought you stopped loving me and caring for me after our divorce. You had every right to pack up and leave with the kids on that cold, Christmas morning. I knew I had messed up. I had messed up so much that you had every right to do what you did and because of that, I knew I wasn't deserving of you anymore but I needed a woman by my side. I've always been a very attractive looking guy and that was a part of my pride and ego that I had back then other than writing music and constantly touring of course. I needed a woman. I needed a woman who would love and care about me and cherish me the way you did back when we were married and all of my confidence was lost right there and then the moment that you left and that's when I met Lena just a week later. I do admit that I was worried about how you would feel when you saw me going out with Lena for the very first time and again when I proposed to her and then when I married her and then when we had Emma and Anna, but I just kept shrugging off those thoughts thinking that you didn't want any part of me anymore. Well, we've always been friends for the sake of our children and grandchildren and to some extent to all of our fans out there, but while our friendship is something, it's not everything. I just want us to be a together again. As a couple. Just you and me. Lena and I divorced because our marriage died out after about 10 years and the only reason why we stayed together for as long as we did was for the sake of our girls and for our grandchildren and because of Lena's health. And now that Lena has been in remission for the past eight years and Emma and Anna aren't as dependent on us as they were back then and are making lives for themselves, we just decided to go our own separate ways but we are still friends for the sake of Emma and Anna and for our grandchildren. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Anna, I just thought you never cared for me anymore."