Jack's Deathnote ~Jalex~

Chapter 7

Jack's POV
Two days passed, two days passed since Alex left. I felt empty, lost, alone. All I did the entire weekend was cry in my bed. My parents and May kept asking me what was wrong, but I ignored them. I couldn't tell them the truth, I couldn't tell anyone. The only one who could comfort me right now was gone. I'd screwed up, I'd really messed things up, Alex was gone and it was all my fault. I hated myself, I was pathetic, evil, horrible, I deserved this abyss of pain I felt.

I hurt the one thing I loved more then anything. I destroyed us, I destroyed the only thing I cared about. I was in love with him and I tore him apart.
I should turn myself in, accept whatever punishment the authorities gave me, maybe they'd hand me the death sentence, maybe they'd take away this pain. Or maybe they'd throw me in jail to rot, to live with this pain forever until I died. That's what I deserved. Death would be too kind, I didn't deserve kindness. Someone like me didn't deserve the easy way out, I deserved all the pain in the world, I deserved to suffer.

I missed Alex more then I'd ever missed anyone. I missed the way his lips felt on mine, I missed the way his arms felt when they held me. The nights he held me I'd slept better then I ever had before, and now I couldn't sleep for more then an hour. I missed his voice, I missed looking into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I missed the way he'd suddenly change form to make me jump. I missed the way he'd curse himself when I tried to teach him chords on the guitar. I missed the sexual innuendos, I missed the way he'd just grab me and kiss me like his life depended on it. I missed the way he'd tease me, mid make out session and not let me touch him. I just missed him and everything about him.

I didn't care who he was, what he was. I didn't care that he was a Shinigami and I was human. I didn't care that I could never tell anyone about us, because frankly, I wanted him to myself, I didn't want to share him. I didn't care that it was wrong, because it wasn't, not to me, to me it was perfect. He was the reason I kept the note, because I didn't ever want to forget him. If I died using that note, I didn't care, as long as the last thing I saw was him, I didn't care what happened to me. As long as I had him with me, none of it would matter. I didn't want to get caught, but as long as he was still there, it didn't matter. But he was gone, and it was all my fault.

Alex's POV
Two day and I was still crying, the pain only got worse without him. I missed him so much it was killing me, eating me up inside. I kept telling myself to go back, but I couldn't, I couldn't look at him and brake all over again. Just thinking about his beautiful, perfect face made me brake. His perfect bright smile, his soft tanned skin, his deep brown beautiful eyes, his perfect lips. His perfect everything, I couldn't get it out of my head and it just broke me more.

I never thought someone like me, a Shinigami, someone who was, well, dead could ever feel like this. I just wanted it to go away, I wanted the pain to stop but it wouldn't, it only got worse. I wanted to die, but I couldn't, there was no way out of this for me. So I'd just sit here, in this alley way, like I had for the past two days, invisible, until either Jack gave up the note or died. Although, he needed me around to give up the note, he had to tell me he was giving it up, so the ownership went back to me. Although, if he didn't use it for four hundred and ninety days, the ownership will naturally go back to me. But that didn't matter, so long as he had that deathnote and was alive, I'd just be sat here until I was forced to go back to the Shinigami world.

I could go back now, but I didn't want too, I didn't want to face Austin, he was going to be really angry and I just couldn't deal with that right now. I missed my friends though, Matt, Vic, Ryuk, Erza, even Alan although he was Austin's little pet. He never told on anyone though if we did something we shouldn't, he was cool, just hopelessly in love with king Austin. And now I understood how it felt to be hopelessly in love with someone, and I had to ask how Alan did it. At first it made me so happy, but now all there was, was pain. Pain that would never go away, tears that would never stop flowing, I thought I knew what hell was, I was wrong. This was hell.