FUCK!

1. ENGAGEMENT

• Impossible is just an opinion•
- Paulo Coelho

"To my fiancé. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for making us cross paths and I just want to say that I love you and I cannot wait to make you my wife," Timothy (Tim) says and the whole room cheers as I smile at his small speech.

Personally, I've never liked engagements, or any gatherings really, where I might or might not have to be the centre of attention. So as you can imagine, it took all the strength in me to actually get up and dressed and attend this one. Especially since I had no choice in the matter. Timothy had to drag me here.

My relationship with Timothy started rather simple. We were both chess fanatics. Were because neither of us was really that good at it.
Besides that, we're grown-ups now; there's the unavoidable tax, rent that keeps increasing for the same shitty, mouldy 2 bedroom apartment, some of us got engaged, and checkmate just didn't seem to be placing food on the table anymore. Nevertheless, it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise that we officially met at a local chess competition. Rather a dull way for two soulmates to meet if you ask me. Except if you were there to win the match because you were a month behind in rent and facing possible eviction.

We didn't really like each other at first, to be honest. I'm not the most likeable person out there, so more him than me.
Although I do think he was angrier at himself for losing to someone with breasts and high oestrogen levels, rather than just loosing. We still live in a patriarchal society and at times like this, there's no denying it.
Pity, it didn't bother me one bit that his ego was bruised. Although as irony would have it, I would later spend more than half of my prize money on booze later that night trying to make him feel better. I have always had some rather self-destructive ways of proving myself to people.
The next morning wasn't just filled with regret and shame because I'd blown money on a stranger who wasn't an escort, but I also had to come up with more money for my rent. And he was gone. The night was such a blur, I barely remembered his name nor did I have any means of communicating with him. All I had was a face and vague memories.

That was until one day of course when I was seated in a coffee shop waiting for my date when he walked in. With my date. And his date as well. Turned out to be an unwanted ad unavoidable double date. It was quite awkward. Not because it was our first-time meeting after that night, well that too, but come to it I was on a date with his housemate, Jonathan. And him.

Fast forward, here we are. Jonathan and I didn't work out, but we eventually became friends.

One might say I have a thing for befriending guys with somewhat biblical names, but now, besides the relation with the oldest book in the world, they have always had somewhat alright faces and personalities. Except for Matthew.
Besides Timothy and Jonathan; as in Jona who got swallowed and spat out by the whale, there was:

First man on earth, Adam and then Matthew with the lisp. I'm surprised I never dated a Samson, but then again who still names their children Samson!

Adam was more of an experiment for me. 

First God's, then mine.

 Except for me; a sexual one. He was a really attractive, hot guy who just seemed to have it all on the surface. That was until he opened his mouth of course and I was left wondering how he had made it so far in life without someone gunning him down in an alley somewhere. But deep down I knew the sex was good, so I tolerated it all.

Then we had Matthew. Well, Matthew was something taken directly out of a romantic novel.
At first.
Apart from the whole prince charming appearance, he also did the whole opening the door for me and pulling my chair out. I would intentionally cringe inside, but I still allowed him. Chivalry wasn't lost with him. Again. At first.
But there is always a downside to something good isn't there?
Like a secret marriage or gang affiliation or a crack lab somewhere that they own and weren't planning to tell you about. For him, it was the sexual harassment record and child support case.