Love is a Drug:Jim Carroll(Leonardo DiCaprio)

A mom talk

(We are now reading from Vivian's perspective)
I woke up after a restless night and went to get breakfast.
"Good morning Viv." My mom was in the kitchen making eggs for breakfast.
"Morning." My voice was rough and definitely sounded sad.
My mom set the milk down and looked at me, "What's wrong?"
"I'm f-," I tried to speak but she interrupted
" And don't try saying I'm fine, because I know you aren't."
I sighed, "How come you always know?"
I sat down at the table and she passed me the bowl of cereal.
"Because sweetie, I know this may shock you, but I was a teenage girl once too."
I made a sarcastic shocked face and started eating.
My mom sat down next to me and patted me on the back, "Now tell me what wrong. Why are you upset?"
I set my spoon down and turned to her.
"It's Jim. Last night he was acting funny and I was worried so I went to find him and I saw him go into an apartment complex. And I didn't recognize it to be one which the boys live in so I got suspicious."
I took a breath and continued, "He was following Neutron into the building, so obviously I followed the two of them." At this point I started to feel emotional and tried to hold it back, "I followed them upstairs to the third floor, and I watched them knock on a door. Once someone answered I could make out two girls. They were blonde tall and Bihar perfect big chests, probably fake." I rolled my eyes, "One of them was Neutrons girlfriend and the other flirted with Jim, this is when I got upset,"
My mom looked really confused, "But sweetie why would this up-"
I made a shushing motion and continued on, "Then they entered the room and I looked through the small door on the window. When I looked through I saw the four of them sit on the couch, Jim and the girl sat on one and Neutron and his girlfriend sat on the other." I started to turn red, "Neutron and his gf started goi ham immediately while the other girl teased him and got closer and closer until they ended up making out. At this point I started crying. Jim had betrayed me, and I should've known better."
Once I finished I looked at my mom, and she seemed so lost and confused, "Wait, I'm confused as to why this bothered you?"
Then it hit me, no one knew about the night. I had to tell her, but I couldn't amd I didn't want to. I just sat there in silence gazing at the floor waiting for something to happen.
My mom put her hand on my back, "Sweetie?"
I looked up, "Why did this bother you?"
I sighed, "Well, Jim and I have been best friends since we were really little," I was really nervous to tell her about us. "And I have always had a slight crush on him." This was a lie. I loved him. "But I didn't want to ruin our friendship by telling him. But one night he came over when you were at work and we hung out." I felt like I was sitting in a lot of fire, "And we lay on my bed together and watched a movie. And one thing led to a next," I took a deep breath, "And we kissed." I gulped, it felt like there was a Boulder choking me, "After that we looked at each other and he said he loved me and I said the same."
For a moment my mom sat there and silence and eventually she spoke, "Sweetie, I already knew you liked him." She laughed I let a smile brake off my lips. "But you know Jim. He is not that type of person." I knew exactly what she meant. He isn't the type to commit, he isn't the type to be loyal.
I started to cry again and fell into my mothers arms. I cried into her shoulder unable to control my feelings. "Sweetie, it'll be alright he'll come back." She held me tight and comforted me while I sobbed.
A little while later I was in my room and my mom was still in the kitchen when the phone rang.
My mom answered, "Oh hi, mhm, ok. Vivi! It's for you!" She called me to the phone, but who would be calling me right now at almost mid day?
I picked up the phone and heard a familiar voice, "Hey Viv." It was Jim. At first I was confused as to why he was calling after what he did, but then I remembered he doesn't know that I know.
"Hey Jim." My voice was quiet and shaky, "What's up?"
He seemed quite nervous too, "I need to talk to you, can we meet up at 26th?"
I sighed, "I guess. I'll see you soon."
"Alright then." He hung up the phone and I walked back to my room. As I was opening my door my mom asked me who it was, "Jim." My response was quick and short yet hurt a lot.
My mom gave me the mom look, "What did he want?"
"He wanted to talk." I put quotes around talk imitating his words.
She rolled her eyes and walked into her room.
I didn't even bother getting ready I just threw on a hoodie and walked out the door. Walking down the streets of down town New York is always the same. The occasional crazy person asking for money, and the usual cat calls and whistles. Once I made it to 26th I stopped at a bench and waited for Jim to arrive. He was usually late to things like this, and well things in general, that explains his grades.
After sitting for about 10-15 minutes I felt a tapping on my shoulder. It was Jim
"Hey Viv." His face was bright red, but not because of the cold.
I looked up, "Hey Jim, you can sit next to me." He sat down and looked at his shoes. They were the only shouted he owned. Black beat up converse. I tried my best to act like I was unaware of what he wanted to discuss, "What do you want to talk to me about?"
He looked me in the eyes and gulped....