Love is a Drug:Jim Carroll(Leonardo DiCaprio)

Controlled.

"I'm busy." I stood up and locked the door.
"Vivi, it's Neutron. Can we talk?" Neutrons voice seemed to be filled with worry and sorrow.
"Why?" Although I hung out with my he boys a lot, I never really talked to Neutron, he was a very quiet person.
"Because I want to talk about Jim," I unlocked the door and peeked put to see Neutron standing outside leaning on the wall talking to me. He turned to face me. "I heard you screaming," he chuckled. "I thought someone was being murdered."
I rolled my eyes, "I'm not in the mood."
Neutron made a face and apologized, " Can I uh, come in?"
"Oh right." I opened the doors and let him inside.
"So what happened?" Neutron sat down at the kitchen table, and so did I.
"Well, the day started off really well. I woke up with Jim next to me, and that immediately made my day great. Then he helped me get ready, he braided my hair," as I said this I took the hair tie out of my hair and undid the braid. "And then..." I continued to tell Neutron what had happened, and the entire time he never said anything. He was a great listener.
"Woah. Well I'm sorry he lashed out on you. I understand that you were trying to look out for him, but sometimes he doesn't understand  that." Neutron has known Jim for a pretty long time and he also hates it when he does the harsh drugs.
"I just don't want to lose him, I mean he is my boyfri- bestfriend." I almost forgot that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about me and Jim, at least not yet.
"Sometimes you just have to let him learn for himself."
I started to feel like crying again, "But he doesn't learn! He's gonna ruin everything for himself!"
Neutron got up and came over to give me a hug.
"It'll be ok Vivi, I promise." Neutron hugged me and I started to cry into his shoulder.
"Thank you." I let go of Neutron and wiped the tears off of my face.
Neutron took a look at the clock on the wall behind me. "Welp, I have practice soon, so I better get going so I have enough time to track down Jim and Mickey." Neutron headed out and I waved him goodbye. I walked into my room and opened my window. For a moment I looked out at the busy streets and the loud noises. The crazy people shouting random things, and the angry drivers cursing at everyone in their way. To me this was home, and I found the chaos soothing. I crawled out of my window and sat on my balcony. I loved to people watch. It took my mind off of things, I liked to study people. To see the way they walk and try to guess what they did and here they were going.
There was a women walking, she was dressed in a nice body con dress and long trench coat. She seemed to be heading somewhere important, I got this by the speed at which she walked. She walked fast as if she was in a hurry, like most New Yorkers do. She crossed the street and hailed a taxi. She took out her wallet, it was Lois Vuitton, and handed the driver some money. She got in the car and went straight down 36th. The next person I spotted was a young boy, he seemed to be around my age, he had blonde hair from what I could tell, and he seemed quite tall. He was talking to a man who seemed to be over 20. The man ah died the boy something and the boy handed the man what seemed to be money. The boy turned around and I saw his face. It was Jim.
"JIM!" I shouted at the top of my lungs praying he would hear me.
He turned his head upwards towards me. He made a slight wave and then turned away.
"CAN I TALK TO YOU? PLEASE!" I kept shouting at him hopping for an answer.
He said goodbye to the guy and came up to my apartment building. "FINE!" He finally replied and walked into the building. A few moments later I heard him knock on the door. I went to open it.
"Hey Jim." I was very quiet when I spoke to him. "How was practice?" I was trying to make things less awkward.
"Fine." He looked away from me as he spoke.
"Dont you have a game tomorrow?" I walked into my room and Jim followed. He nodded and sat down at my desk, so I took a seat on my bed. "Listen, about earlier I'm so-"
Jim stopped me, "no I'm sorry. You were trying to be nice, and I got carried away. I'm sorry."
I was shocked to hear this. "Oh uh. That's not something I would expect to hear from you."
"You make me feel, well different Viv." He looked up at me and I got butterflies.
I saw Jim fumble with something in his pocket. "Why do you do it?"
Jim looked confused. "Do what?"
I nodded my head toward his pocket. "The drugs. It's a genuine quest. I wanna know what it does to make you wanna keep doing it."
Jim turned red and looked down again. "It makes me feel like i can escape like I can leave reality and go some place else." He looked at me again. "I feel like I'm flying. Like I can do anything." He looked me in the eyes, "It makes me feel happy, and alive."
I felt tears forming again but I held them back.
"Jim, they're gonna end up controlling you completely at one point, unless you stop." The tears began forcing their way out of my eyes, but I tried my best to stay calm. "And I don't want to lose you Jim. You mean the world to me." I couldn't control the tears any longer, I started to cry. Jim got up and came over to me.
"I'm sorry Vivi." For a few minutes we just sat there in each other's arms. I couldn't help but think that he was lying. I knew he was gonna do it again, and that hurt me. It hurt me to think he lied straight to my face. The things drugs do to you is horrible. They destroy you, and any chance you have at a career or future.
"Well I uh I have to go." Jim got up and walked out of my room. I tried to say something before he left my apartment, but he left to fast.
"Bye Jim." I mumbled under my breath and locked the door. I went back into my bedroom and closed my window. I lay on my bed. Just thinking. Thinking about Jim. What would his mom do to him if she found out. She works so hard for him, she would be in disbelief.
Later that night
"Honey I'm home!" My mom came inside and set her bags on the table. She must have gone to the grocery store.
"Hey mom!" I ran out of my room and gave her a giant hug. I need that right now.
"Is everything okay sweet pea?" My mom lifted my head and kissed me on the forehead. "You seem sad, or upset. Is something bothering you."
"Oh no I'm fine. Just tired." I couldn't tell her about Jim, she would never let me near him, and she would end up telling his mom. And he would be dead.
"Oh well then you must go get some rest. And if you hear from Jim tell him I wish him good luck at his van tomorrow. I'm going to bed now." She took off her coat and headed to her room.
"Ok, night mom." I walked into my room and changed into some more comfortable clothes and then went to get something to eat from the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and saw some raspberry's and went to my room and sat out on my balcony.

The cold night air felt soothing on my bare arms. The slight breeze that flowed through my hair. Tomorrow was Jim's big day, and if he fucked up, there was no chance of him getting a scholarship.