this was requested by Shade-Romeo !!
thank you !!
Pairing(s)?: hinted romantic Logince (can be read as platonic)
Started: December 18th, 2020, 11:20 PM
Finished: December 21st, 2020, 5:27 PM
Word Count: 1.63k words
Warnings: Mental breakdown, gripping hair (let me know if i miss some)
it might seem like Janus is unsympathetic, i promise he's not
———
Roman gasped as he slid down his door with his back against its wood, hands buried in his hair so tightly he felt he might pull it out. He couldn't remember when he had started crying. It couldn't have been for too long, he had just came back from his meeting with Thomas, Patton, and D-... and Janus...
"Roman thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus... I wouldn't be able to tell who the evil twin is."
The prince winced as the words forced his way to the front of his mind, though, it already seemed like they couldn't be any more noticeable to him. How could he have said that to him? He wasn't like Remus at all! He was good! He was a hero!
...Right...?
A sob wracked out from the depths of his chest, painfully pushing itself out as he drew his legs closer to his chest and lowered his head on them. Was the air running out in his room that seemed to get smaller by the moment? It must be.
Of course, he wasn't good or a hero. If he was, none of this would have ever happened. Janus wouldn't be hurting him like this, he would have made Thomas happy even by going to the wedding, he would have made Thomas successful. He would be a hero. He would be good.
Good
Good
Good
G o o d
"...-an...! Roman, breathe...!"
Roman's eyes flew open as his head shot up to look at who was speaking to him. Logan was kneeling in front of him, looking at him with more concern and worry than he believed he'd ever seen on his face. He was usually so serious, if he wasn't so upset, he would have been more than just shocked. "Roman, you must breathe," Logan said with such softness he would have started crying if he wasn't already. (But, when had his breathing become so... painful...? And ragged...?) "I'm going to guide you through a breathing exercise, as well as remove your hands from your hair to prevent possible injury due to your tight grasp on it. Is that alright?"
Roman only stared at him for a few moments, gasping for air and sobbing his eyes out, but eventually, he nodded. "Y-Yeah... Yeah, that's okay." He managed to say. Logan wasted no time as soon as he finished speaking. He gently guided his hands away from his hair, being careful as to not hurt him while doing so. He held them in his own, rubbing steady circles into the backs of his hands.
"We're going to do an exercise called 4-7-8. You breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and then breathe out for eight seconds. It will help steady and level out your breathing. Try to do it with me." Logan told him with such patience, repeating his words whenever he felt like Roman wasn't exactly listening to him too well or just needed the review. It broke Roman, but not in the way he had broke before. This was a good broken.
They went through the exercise together, Logan helping him with staying on or getting back on beat if he started to struggle. The prince didn't know how long they had been like that, just breathing in a simple rhythm together, but eventually, Roman could breathe easier. "...Thank you, Lo." He murmured, still crying a bit as he kept his eyes on the floor so he wouldn't have to meet Logan's. He didn't know if he could handle the eye contact right now.
"Of course, Roman. It would have been cruel to just stand there and watch you." Logan said back simply, nog letting go of his hands. He hoped he never would. "May... I sit beside you? As well as ask what you were crying about?"
"...I guess so."
Logan moved to sit beside him, his shoulder just barely touching his. Which, in turn, made him let go of his hands, but his disappointment didn't last long, because he held one of them again not too long after. He even started gently rubbing his hand with his thumb. It felt nicer than he would admit. "It's just... something dumb that J-... Deceit said." He said, correcting himself before he called Janus his name. He didn't know if Logan (or Remus and Virgil) knew about his name yet. He already made things a big enough mess, he didn't want to make them worse. He didn't want Janus to be even more furious with him than he already must be. He wiped his face of tears, though they didn't stay gone for more than a few seconds. "He told us his name, and... I said something dumb, and I-I know I shouldn't have made fun of his name, I just-..." He shook his head, guilt washing over him. He hated this, so much. "...I don't know. I didn't think properly before I spoke, and then he snapped back at me, and... and he said-," He choked on his words, taking a moment to just breathe as he shut his eyes tightly. "...He said if it wasn't for Remus having a mustache... he couldn't tell who was the evil twin, and it-, it hurt. And now I'm sobbing over it and I'm not the good guy and I'm a horrible side a-and I'm not Thomas's hero anymore and-"
"Roman Roman, it's okay, breathe." Logan interrupted him, softly squeezing his hand as he used his other to cup his face and gently force him to look at him. Roman opened his green eyes to look at Logan's hazel ones. They looked... so concerned... and caring... "You're not 'evil.' There's almost no such thing. Plus, the definition of good and evil is susceptible to who's point of view you are seeing the situation from. Just because you said one wrong thing doesn't mean you're horrible, or not Thomas's hero anymore. It means you're human, and that's an okay thing to be." He leaned forward touching his forehead to his and closing his eyes. "You're good, I promise."
And just like that, Roman broke all over again. But, not a bad kind of broke this time. No, this was a good break. Because, now, Logan was here, and he could help piece him back together again.
It was okay.
This is good.
