This is a Test

Ch.4 - Part II - The First Test

The combination of the alarms and the gas expulsion caused such a clamor that it was difficult to hear much over it. From the corridor, Cashe could hear screams and yelling for someone named Randy. He hoped that Randy person showed up soon so the others would quit their histrionics. Cashe had other issues pending.

Although none of the gas nozzles were directly over the 3-D printers, the clouds fogged up the system enough to where the machine halted production. He didn't know what was in the gas, but the change in temperature, its chemical content, and the air pressure combined might have affected the bolt in mid-print. He tried focusing on this problem, but a loud bellow from the corridor annoyed enough to cause him to investigate the ruckus.

He ventured far enough into the hallway to see Roger stumble blind through columns of gas. The geologist ricocheted like a pink pinball off the walls, one hand covering his eyes while the other tried keeping his unfastened pants up. Roger wept, coughed, howled, screamed, staggered, wailed and flailed. His sausage fingers clasped his buffalo neck and he hacked as if trying to dislodge a hairball, his tongue jutting out as far as it could.

Roger tried walking and breathing at the same time. This was too much coordination for the man to handle. Lost, blinded and crying, he stumbled backwards and tripped over his own hooves, causing him to fall sideways into the wall. Trying to slow his descent to the floor, his left hand left a greasy smear on the paneling. He landed on his back with his face directly under one of the gas plumes, and some of the clouds were courteous enough to cover Roger's exposed groin. After some thrashing about, Roger rocked back and forth several times like a turtle in upheaval before flipping over onto all fours as God had intended for him. His pants bunched around his knees, he slow-crawled out of the hallway towards the hydroponics lab, slapping the ground with each hand like an angry toddler, leaving behind a snail trail of big bulbous baby tears in his wake. Cashe heard the man's bawling subside as he disappeared completely. Cashe looked about to see the nozzles still pumping out gas without pity.

This was the most wonderful test ever.

Guessing the entertainment was concluded, he returned to more pressing matters. There was a chance that the bolt would have a pinpoint-sized imperfection, perhaps so slight as to be insignificant, but an imperfection none the less. The difference may have been as minute as the weight of a hair, and he was sure that the bolt would be just as effective as the others, but it was the principle. He wouldn't be able to sleep having used a part that was not at the same high standards of the rest, especially while knowing about it in advance. He punched commands into the printer, declaring the piece defective. The robotic arm zoomed in, removed the bolt from the printer, and cast it into a box of metal bits for repurposing.

The monitor screens flickered to display only the motherboard. The gas still chugged out as the alarms continued their irritating whelping. Someone needed to do something about that. He loaded panels and supports onto a rolling rack when Lia burst through plumes into the shop. Her battered, twisted hair and her horrified expression created the illusion that she had just stepped out of a tornado to find her grandparents sixty-nining before her. One hand held an air bottle with a mask to her face while the other carried her translator. With the sound of the gas, the alarms, and the mask covering her mouth, the translator didn't stand a chance, but with whatever she was yelling, it seemed quite important. She gestured towards the hydroponics lab.

Cashe shook his head. "They're looking for Randy." His own mask muffled his voice, which wasn't fair to her, so he raised it to call out, "Go find Randy."

He turned his back to her and placed fasteners on top of his stack of building pieces. Lia was still yammering when the gas stopped and the alarms ceased, quieting the room. The monitors on the walls flashed a new message.

This test has been successfully concluded. A malfunctioning motherboard caused a breach in the life support systems. The part has been replaced. Supplemental oxygen can now be removed at the colonists' leisure.

This pleased Cashe as he took the oxygen tanks off his back, discarding his mask as well. Lia hesitated before following his example, then scurried back to the hydroponics lab. Each room has a hose that could replenish oxygen tanks, so he set his to refill before adorning his jacket and pushing his cart from the room.