Cheeky Kids | RINI Oneshots

I now realize (j+o)

Joshua's POV:

After one last glance at Olivia, I press the End call button and close my eyes in agony. Involuntary my breathing quickens and my head is spinning from all the thoughts swerving inside. My conscience eating me alive.

I barely recognize the girl that once shone like a diamond. Now she is like an empty shell; laughing forcefully, looking down constantly, muting her personality.

I grip at my curls as I recall our interview; she just wanted to get it over with. She acted it out so professionally, put together, and focused. She acted as if we weren't even friends, she acted like we were never together.

What else did I expect really? I am the reason she is like this. I am the reason she won't look at me, talk to me. I made her like this. I broke her.

Anger and frustration were bubbling in my blood. I was cursing myself out, what an idiot I am.

She was everything I needed and more. She was my sunshine on rainy days, my other half, my anchor. I never realized what she did for me until I lost her. I never realized that she made me full, she made me happier, she made me stronger and better. She poured light into my life and now that she is gone so is the light. She took everything well with her and left.

And I hated her for it. I thought it was all her fault. She was the one to blame.

But now, seeing her, talking to her, I now realize what I have done. And what I have lost.

There is no one to blame but me.

I didn't realize it before but now I do, I realize that I need her. She deserves better and I'll try to better myself for her. Because if I lose her I'll have nothing worth living for because she is my life. She is my light, happiness, bravery. I am a madman for disconnecting myself from all of it.

Lifting my head from my hands I take a deep breath to pull myself together. Looking left I spot my phone and reach over to grab it. With fast trembling hands I pull up Olivias contact and press Call.

My heart is speeding up in my chest and my palms are clammy as the tone rings and only when I hear a quiet "Hello" I let a tear fall and feel the pain in my chest subside.

"Hey".

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Olivia's POV:

As soon as Joshua and I say our outro at the end of our interview I hurriedly hang up the Zoom call making the screen go black.

I lean my head back on the wall and close my eyes in agony. I unfold the emotions that I've been keeping locked and bottled up. My face scrunches up as I think of his face and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. I curl up on the floor and sob uncontrollably. I can not bear all the pain in my chest, my heart. I've tried so hard to convince my head and heart to let go but it's a lot harder to do so when he gives me lingering looks and praises me in interviews.

No matter how many days pass by I don't feel any less love for him or any more hatred.

I can't fight off the feeling of missing him.

A knock on my bedroom door startles me and pulls me out of my thoughts. My mother's head appears at the door, "Oh honey" she whispers.

She embraces me in her arms and rubs circles on my back. The gesture was supposed to be comforting but all I can think about is Josh and the tears fall down faster and I choke on my sobs. I'm a wreck.

"Just let it all out hon", she says quietly, letting me soak her T-Shirt.

I cling onto her arm for dear life like it's my anchor. She is the only thing stopping me from screaming my heart out. So that's how we stay. Her rocking me back and forth in her embrace, playing with my hair. I calm down eventually and open my eyes. As soon as I do, I remember him and start sobbing again. And this is a cycle that repeats.

My mum doesn't ask questions which I'm forever grateful for.

Eventually, I run out of tears and all I'm left with is a throbbing heart and puffy eyes.

My mother is the first to break the silence, "Liv, I know that this is probably the last thing that you want to hear, but Honey, have you tried talking to him? To get some closure. You can't keep falling apart like this every time. Just imagine how it'll be when you go back to Salt Lake City to film season 2."

The thought of seeing him in person scares me and the pain in my chest amplifies. I wish nothing more than to talk to Josh and resolve this but he made it clear that we are done. As much as it hurts me I need to respect his decision.

"I wish I could talk to him mum I really do. I miss him so much, too much. It feels like half of me is missing, like my soul left my body. But he doesn't want to talk to me, he made it pretty clear."

Breaking up with Ethan didn't hurt this much because I was preoccupied with filming and work and/or anytime I would begin to spiral down the hole of our break up Josh would always be there to pull me out, to help me get through it. He was my safe spot, my lighthouse, it felt like home with him.

Now that we broke up, he took all that with him. He left me to crumble and break with no one to hold me upright.

But I still long for all of him.

"Have you tried reaching out? Maybe he wishes to talk to you too."

I sob again, " No I haven't. I'm too scared to do so." I look down at my shaking hands.

"Oh baby, young love hurts. I told you that many times but what you and Josh had was something special. Don't give up on him. I know that he messed up badly but I have a feeling that your story isn't over."

Just as she says the last words, my phone rings. My heart beats crazy fast in my ribcage and I get tingles all over my body.

It can't be him, can it?

My mum reaches over to grab my phone since it closer to her and she hands it over to me with a small smile. She kisses my forehead and leaves my room, closing the door behind her.

I stare dumbfoundedly at the callers' ID. Swiping up to answer I try to make my voice sound as strong as I can, "Hello."

I hear him inhale and reply, "Hey."

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HIIIII I hope you enjoyed this oneshot! Let me know what you think, how it made you feel... Thank you for reading mauhhh