Burning bright, burning bright, in the darkness of the night, this humble light, this thing of wonder warming the coldness of sovereign air. Beautiful light, radiant light, something I cannot endure for its warm glow taunts me. It laughs at me with vicious glee and smiles as I get close.
But with every attempt my skin simmers to a boil. My vision blurs, like looking through distorted crystal glass and everything around me burns. The light laughs tenaciously at my pain. Through wicked intent thou has cast upon me, I am cursed to forever live in darkness.
The darkness embraces me, its sharp cold winds love me and my vision becomes clear. I can see, I can be free, free from the harshness of the light with nothing to cage me; I can be myself with no light to cast its wicked embrace upon my icy body.
The moon sends a humble shiver down my spine and my skin tingles at its thin layer of radiancy. It gives me warmth, a nice warmth that does not send me to the depths of hell. It embraces me, hugs me, with a cold glow that soothes my ever lasting collection of scars and burns.
Volcanoes wouldn't scare me, its heat wouldn't bother me for the pain it inflicts is the same as what light does to me. I feel the burns of a thousand fires, feel the pain of pins and knives stabbing into my body and setting my heart on fire.
When dusk becomes dawn and the moon becomes sun, all that cold, warm embrace disappears in one instance of pure anxiety, of pure fire. Its like the death and rebirth of the phoenix, it’s like the fiery devastation of Pompeii. Everything shatters, my skin, my vision and my freedom.
The bird is now thrown into the cage and its wings are now in chains. When the sun rises its harshness knows no bounds. I hide in the shadows, still burning with every pillar of light that burst through it. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide as the suns hand reaches out to grab you.
Staying indoors is my only hope, my only refuge but even in its darkness there are still lights that burst through. During the day I endure endless pain, scared of closing my eyes, scared of saying goodbye. My heart races without relent, my vision blurs and the world spins.
People think its cool to be like this, cool to be vampiric but its not, it hurts, it kills and most of all it is not vampirism. There is no such thing, this is something else, it’s a curse, a blight upon the mind and the soul which cannot be described.
I will never be able to go to the beach and feel the lush waters splash across my body, never feel the warmth of the sun, I can never go camping, never explore what lies beyond the outdoors. The only way I can do that is if I go through hell and back.
That's all I can do to break free of this endless inferno that plagues me. So tell me, do you really think you should take the sun for granted? Do you really think you should take every step you make in its heavenly light is such a small thing because to me it’s a huge thing. So tell me, just tell me, should we really take this thing called daylight for granted? You tell me, go on just you try.
YOU ARE READING
Of Monsters and Men: A Poetry, Short Story and Song Anthology
PoesíaOf Monsters and Men is something I've been writing for a good four years, in those four years I suffered from severe depression and strong suicidal thoughts and dealt with it by writing these poems which were deemed very raw and very personal. I th...
