Of Monsters and Men: A Poetry, Short Story and Song Anthology

Lost Faith

I used to wonder why I felt lonely

Wondered why people never understood the pain

Why they never never believed my sadness or my guilt

They didn't understand my lost faith.

I always thought to myself "Is there something wrong with me?"

They always used to stare wondering about why I do these things

Why I act differently, why I look sad and why I lose my way sometimes

They always stare but I don't.

My eyes look away from the crowds passing by

I couldn't care less about them anymore

All their bitter judgments and harsh insults

Will one day all come back and hit them at their worst hours.

I always search through the crowd

And find some friendly eyes in the clouds of people

They used to be my mates always kind and caring

Yet I've come to realise they never cared...none of them did.

They say they understand my heartache, say they will always have my back

Yet when I need them most they shun me, turn away

Then they go back to the crowd and whisper white lies to them

Such is the way of deceitful liars bound by blackened hearts.

 

My mates were never there for me

Never there at all

How could they understand my pain

When they never had their own.

They left me in the dark

Made me lose my faith

When I needed love and support

All I got were laughs and venom tongues.

Through twisted smiles they look down on me

They ask me "What's wrong?"

I don't answer, I keep walking down this shadowed path

They know exactly what's wrong with me...they couldn't care less.

I cry for help sometimes when it all gets too much

I help everyone else, try to stop them walking towards the hanging noose

Yet when I'm spiralling downwards into ruin

Nobody cares to catch me.

I think "why do I bother?"

Then my mind replies

"Because if you didn't care you would be a terrible person...like them."