The Rising Star [Varsity Boys #1]

Chapter Forty-Two

Barely slept a wink when Mama barged in my room at five in the morning. My mind was too clouded with the conversation I had with Jaylen. It decided to stay awake and discern everything that happened.

Getting up from my bed, my slippers sliding across the carpeted floor, I yawned tiredly and made my way to my bathroom. Coffee wasn't a want anymore; it was a need.

There was no point in trying to look nice. Once I was done with my morning routine (consisting of face wash, serum, moisturizer, and sunscreen) and brushing my teeth, I fixed my hair into a messy, high ponytail, then pulling out my baby hairs to frame my face.

Putting makeup on was out of the picture too. No way I was going to waste my time on that. I moved over to my closet and grabbing a tan, co-ord sweats set. Key to shopping: keep everything comfy.

Putting on deodorant and perfume, I was ready to head downstairs. I was sure Aunt Winona and Mona would be on-time. They were only ever on-time if the event was shopping.

Pocketing my wallet and phone in the pocket of my sweater, I tiptoed my way to the guest bedroom. I pressed my ear against the door to hear if Jaylen was still sleeping. Snoring filled my ears which meant he was.

Quietly, I turned the handle of the door, opening it and slipping inside the room. Jaylen laid on his side, facing away from the door, and seemed to be hugging a pillow. I tiptoed to the other side and crouched down to his eye-level.

Letting him fill the room with his snores, I observed him and waited a couple of minutes to make sure he was actually asleep. I wanted to say a lot of things to him and I only found the confidence to say them when he wasn't actually listening.

"This is my first ever relationship. You're my first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first everything. I know you want to fight for us and you have a lot of will to do that, while, I, do not.

"Just be patient with me while I figure this out on my own. Please be patient when I process things longer than usual. I want to understand what I'm going through and why I'm going through them.

"Because I can't imagine my life without you. I can't imagine sleeping beside anyone else. Having and cooking meals with anyone else. I want all of it with you.

"Because, Jaylen, I love you. With all of my heart and I am terrified," I whispered. Tears were falling down my face and wiped them away with the sleeve of my sweater.

Jaylen continued to snore and I couldn't help but giggle, forgetting my train of thoughts. I sniffled as I calmed myself down before I headed downstairs. I straightened out my leg, my eyes trained on him.

He groaned, turning over to the other side, then resumed snoring once again. A sigh left my lips as I quietly left the room, closing the door behind me and headed downstairs.

There was a mirror at the end of the stairs, super convenient to check out the fits and, apparently now, eyes, to see if they looked normal. I looked over myself to see if there were any clues that I had just cried.