Bluebell

Book 5 Chapter 2 Words and Anger

I woke up with a start, jolting upwards as beads of sweat grazed my forehead.

The words I had heard still filled my head making it hurt.

I was in my room at 12 Grimauld Place. Del was asleep in bed and Ginny was on the sofa bed. Mione was asleep on an air mattress, I didn't even know she was there. They were all snoring peacefully, no care in the world and with no pain filling them to the brim.

I looked down to see my legs looked frailer then ever, I was going to get up and get a glass of water but I just new I would fall to the floor.

I might of gained a bit of weight, to anyone who hadn't seen me in those near death minutes, they would think I still looked a state. But I looked better.

I didn't need a mirror though to tell me that I was still as pale as before and my hair was worse then Mione's on a bad day.

I sat like that, breathing steadily and looking at the objects in the room for hours.

After looking from my sick bed for about three hours my eyes landed on the picture wall.

Pictures of me and the golden squad as we liked to call it, laughed and smiled in front of me. I looked so happy, hugging the girls in some and sat on various boy's shoulders in others.

One of the ones that caught my eye though was the one of me and Harry at the start of second year. The picture Mione took of us kissing on the swing. I looked so happy and alive, nothing like the shell of what I was once like I was now.

I then looked over at another picture and gasped loudly, one of the first noises I had made in weeks making my vocal chords sting.

It was of me and Cedric dancing at the Yule Ball, I looked beautiful and he looked perfect. We were laughing and talking about something and I watched us gracefully move around the dance floor.

I began to cry and looked down at my carnelian ring, my engagement ring that I had vowed to never take off.

Mione sat up and looked at me weeping.

"Blue, are you in pain?" She rushed getting up quickly and joining me.

I shook my head and just looked at the picture.

She must have caught on though when she followed my gaze.

"Would you like me to take it down?"

I shook my head again.

Mione laid down on my bed and closed her eyes.

"Night Blue."

We fell asleep soon later, to this day I still thank Mione for staying by my side that night.

***

The next morning I was woken up by my mum shaking me awake.

"Hello sweetheart, why don't you come downstairs for something to eat?"

I nodded and the next thing I know is Fred is picking me up. I didn't even know he was there.

I was carried like a baby down the stairs and it was patronising and when the kitchen door swung open it was full of people.

Everyone was silent and looking at me with fear. They looked like aurors that I had heard of. Mad eye was there and Snape.

"What happened to you?" Snape said in a horrified voice.

"She won't reply Professor, she hasn't spoken since... well you know." Fred said.

I was placed in a chair as everyone kept staring at me.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." I said suddenly finding my voice again.

Everyone gasped at hearing my voice, mum was the loudest.

"Sweetheart, you spoke!" She cried lunging at me.

"What do you expect. I can only take so much of people gawping at me." I said softly my vocal chords still feeling stiff.

Mumbles of sorries echoed around.

"What's going on anyway?" I asked.

"We are the order and we are trying to stop..." mad eye began before mum cut him off.

"Don't you dare terrify my daughter. She is a child who is incredibly sick and only just beginning to get better."

"Mum I want to know."

"No way, she has been innocent to it for years and I don't want her life ruined by it now."

"Molly, she needs to know at some point." Dad no 2 reasoned.

"Fine but Sirius she is your responsibility too and if she wakes up screaming in the night then you will be the one to get her milk."

"Will everyone stop talking about me as if I'm a child. I had  seen more horrors by the time I was eleven then a lot of you have seen in a lifetime. I might be sick but that doesn't mean I am an idiot."
I said loudly casting silence at the table.

"We believe Voldemort has a secret weapon, something to do with the ministry. If he gets his hands on it then you can fear the worst." Mad eye grimaced.

"And what part do I play in this?"

"There is more then one weapon Blue, we are protecting them both. You are just unaware of the other one."

"Care to elaborate on the other one?"

"No, your mother is right. It will only ruin your life."

"I wouldn't worry about that mad eye. My life was ruined a few weeks a go when Voldemort instructed the rat to kill the most precious thing to me."

"This is why you don't get attached to people Blue, if you want to be an auror then you are going to have to learn to let people go and ignore the blood shed."

"Easy for you to say. Have you ever fallen in love?"

"No, I care about my job more then that."

"Well I don't have a job. I was a naive school girl who fell in love with her best friend. He asked me to marry him even. I bet you didn't know that."

"I'm sorry". Mad eye apologised.

"I don't like pity. I'd like to fight though."

"No way!" Mum shouted.

"I want to kill the man who has ruined my life. I want to watch him squirm and die slowly in pain." I said darkly.

"What an awful thing to say." Mum gasped.

"Well owl me when dad is murdered and we will see how you feel."

This caused more gasps.

"If we are done with the pity and patronisation then I would like to leave before I accidentally set someone on fire."

With that Fred lifted me again and carried me to my room where I spent the rest of the day in peace. Anger eating away at me.

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