Bahadur (Watties 2022)

Chapter 28

He's right, I've killed so many people.

I didn't even think about the fact that they could have families, children, animals.

I murdered them in cold blood.

" stop crying" he spoke stroking the back of my scarf, nodding no I gripped his shirt tighter. Who would have thought he'd comfort me. My mind is screaming let go this isn't right but my heart won't allow me to move.

" I can't, I'm a cold blooded murderer"

" people fucking die Inaya, if you didn't kill them they would have killed you"

" really" I mumbled for validation, I felt the need to be validated and lied to just to feel better.

"Yes detka, I promise" he gently kissed the top of my head whilst stroking my back.  My body unintentionally scrambled closer to his, I felt him tense underneath me.

Vladimir gripped my hips trying to stop me from moving but my guilt and anxiety forced me closer. I wanted to be comforted.

"I'm trying not to fuck you, I suggest you stay still"

Allah ji! What am I doing! Pushing him away I scrambled onto the floor. Hurriedly standing up I inhaled a deep breath.

" can I go home" I asked glancing at the ground, this has already gotten too haram I feel sick.

" For now yes, that doesn't mean I'm letting you go"

Ignoring his last few words I ran out of there.

I cannot believe I just broke in front of him, I showed him a weakness. That can't happen again, Allah please give me power.

I dodged the bodies in the street and entered my home once again, everyone was sat in the living room speaking.

As soon as I entered all eyes landed on me.

" They killed all the animals" I spoke attempting to remain sane, everybody gasped in horror at the situation. They mighty not have killed us then but they're slowly killing us now.

"Ya Allah what are we going to eat"

Before I could say anything Hussain stood up.

"Whoever slaughters animals come with me, we will clean, cut and freeze them" he spoke grabbing the axe.

Thank God he took charge, my body began to betray me as I slowly took a seat on the sofa.

Hussain smiled before heading out with a few other men, I'm so glad I've got him by my side.

What the hell just happened, he kissed me, granted to get a pill into my mouth but, he made me feel butterflies, it's all wrong.

Allah, it's all wrong I don't want this. I committed a major sin and it's making me feel sick.

There's rules for a reason within Islam, Allah knows what's right for us. I'm going to vomit.

" puther they're here" mum whispered beside me, my teary gaze lifted to see the man who's ruining my life as well as a few other men.

Vladimir stood at the front of the room confidently, his strong gaze lingered on me unemotionally before switching back to the crowd.

" The Pakistani army aren't coming to help, I'm your only hope now. Either we work together or someone else kills you" he stated confidently, the room fell silent, everyone glancing at me waiting for me to give an answer.

" Inaya what should we do?" dad asked pulling me close, I don't know, is there any choice here.

I stayed seated my eyes still locked with the tiles below.
" what do you guys want to do" I asked everyone.