Burning Blue | Langst

Chapter Seven (End)

Keiths pov 

I can't believe Lance all I was trying to do was help him and he tells me to shut up. I just groan and walk into the training room, I need to blow off steam before I could see Lance again. 

"Start training level six" I yell at the robot. Six robots appeared in front of me. Each one coming at me all at once. in just shoot three of them and fight off the other two. 

I was training for three hours, sweat was beading down my face. Training took a lot out of me, I was panting as I was sitting down while drinking some water. Then my thoughts drifted back over to Lance, I wonder what he was doing right now. He was probably in the same position he was in when I left the room. Curled up on himself as the blankets were covering him. 

That would be cute to see, I just hated that he was hurting. I didn't want him to be hurting. I loved him too much for that. But he did tell me to shut up, then I told him to fuck off and that I was practically done helping him. How was I ever gonna go back into that room and see him again? His thoughts already gave him enough grief what makes me say that any different than him telling himself that. 

I instantly started to feel the regret forming in my stomach. I sigh as I get up off the ground and walk out of the room. 

I start to walk down the hall and towards Lance's room. I needed to apologize to him. I know I was only doing it to make myself feel better but maybe actually saying it to him will make it different. 

I was now right in front of his door. My heart was beating fast. I didn't know what I was going to say to him. I hated seeing him in pain too. I didn't want him to be in there and hurting. I took in a deep breath and opened the door to his room. I look over at the bed and notice that he was gone. 

That raised my confusion, I mean he would have stayed in bed the whole time unless he needed to go to the bathroom. I walk over to the bathroom door and knock. I took a moment and waited but I got no response. That's odd. I go to open the door but it was locked. My brain started to go to the worst-case scenario. 

What if he was cutting? I started to bang on the door, I needed him to let me in. But again I was getting no response. That's when I decided that I am going to force my way in there. I backed up and then kicked open the door. Nothing prepared me for what I was about to see. 

I walked in only to see Lance lying on the ground. His arms bleeding and him not breathing his skin pale. I just stood there my breath was caught in my throat. I was shocked. This couldn't be happening. I ran up to him and started to feel for a pulse. "No, no no!" this couldn't be happening I loved him, I didn't want him to die. But there was no pulse. He was already dead. And from the looks of it, it had to have been a couple of hours. 

I held him in my arms, his limp body just up against mine. I didn't want to let him go, He was all I had. He was everything I needed. "NO!" I scream loudly. Which ended up alerting. Everyone in the palace and they all came rushing into the room. 

Tears were flowing down my face, as I had the Sharpshooter in my arms holding him tight. They all walked into the bathroom, they were all shocked at what they are seeing. They're beloved paladin dead, blood everywhere, wrapped in my arms as I sob. 

I was shaking and holding him, not wanting to let go. Then it would all make it real. Make what he did real. 

It was almost 30 minutes since I found him and that's when the other Paladins took him away from me and were starting to comfort me. Hunk and Shiro were both there, hugging me. As Alura, Pidge, and Coran taking Lance away. 

I was broken, the love of my life was dead and I was the one who caused it. I shouldn't have left him, shouldn't have told him that I hated him. 

Another hour had passed and the other two paladins left me to grieve. I was just sitting there in Lance's blood that was on the ground of the bathroom. It was all over me, the blood of my now former lover. This couldn't really be happening? Lance wouldn't really be dead. This all had to be some messed up dream. 

I tried to make myself wake up, but I knew I wasn't asleep. I got up off the floor and walked over to the bed where Lance was laying not even five hours ago. That's when I saw on the bed a white piece of paper that said 'Please read me' on the folded paper. I picked it up and my hands were shaking. 

I read the first words, 

"Hey, Lance here."

My eyes started to become watery. This was his suicide note. This is what he wanted everyone to know. I took a deep breath and started to read it as tears were cascading down my face. 

"Hey, Lance here. I just wanted you guys to know, I'm sorry. None of this was your guy's fault. I love you all. I loved how you tried to make me feel better even though I was so stubborn and didn't want to burden you guys. Keith, I know that you're blaming yourself right now for the last words you said to me. Don't though, I was practacily dead when you came back. No one would have been able to save me. But you still tried and I thank you for that. For at least caring for me, for loving me and showing me that there are many things to live for. But I guess it was never enough. To anyone else wondering or reading this, thank you. I love you all. I know you are all upset over what happened. But just move on. I'm not something to be worrying about. Remember to keep your head up. Don't let anyone bring your spirts down. 

I love you all!

Goodbye..."

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I cried while writing this if you were wondering. I hate seeing endings like this, but sometimes this is the outcome. Sometimes you can't save them. Not everyone is able to be saved, so if you are dealing with these thoughts or you know someone who is the please reach out or call these numbers:

suicide - 18002738255 abuse - 18007997233 rape/assault - 18006564673 bullying - 18004201479 depression - 16304829696 trevor project (suicide hotline for lgbtq+ kids) - 18664887386

Please spread these numbers around. A lot of people are probably looking for help and don't know how to get it. So please. This would be very helpful.