IN TIME~Vinnie x Kio

XII

Hey so like... my sad ass was listening to Kodaline's, All I Want, and ya girl was going through it.  (As you will read in this)

Also I feel like I reference too many songs in this book... oh well.

So here is a chapter my lovelies, sorry it's a bit shorter.  If any of you are a fan of one direction(which I know some of you are <3), be prepared ;) 

PS: I absolutely adore reading you guys' comments, I literally love every single one of you.  Kissy!

Ever since I was little, I'd always hated how it felt to feel ignored. 

 The person knows you're there, knows you breathing today because of them, yet they turn a shoulder like they're a stranger.

 I was beginning to feel the bitter ache of missing Mae. Sure, she messed up, but she was still my best friend. I couldn't lose her. 

 My empath self began to believe it was I who had messed up, that she had also been wallowing in the sadness because I had run out on her like that. 

 It wasn't a healthy habit to always make myself the bad guy. 

 It's tearing at me though, feeling like she was suffering and sad without me. At that point in time, I was looking for some ounce of closure, closure that I knew might not have even been necessary. 

 Closure. 

 A confirmed reason as to what I had done, and if she were to leave, why. Why was often the question that littered my mind. 

Why was straight the default? Why did this have to be so hard? Why did my mind always wander towards the beautiful boy, I had kissed only once? Why did she ruin everything.

"Vinnie, you alright?" Hanna asked as we lay opposite on her bed. I was laying with my feet near the headboard and I then hung my head off the bed, feeling all the blood rush to my head. I let out a long sigh. 

 "Do you ever miss being a kid?" I asked looking over at her. She pursed her lips and nodded, sighing as well. 

 "You don't have to worry about- you know- the real shit. Then, all that matters in life is what juice box you're gonna have with lunch." I say and Hanna laughed, gently hitting my stomach.

 "At that point, you think love is just in fairy tales. Cringe whenever anyone kisses in a movie." I lifted my head up and laid it on the edge of the bed.

 "Now I just feel like punching the TV." 

 This seemed to alarm Hanna. Her eyebrows knitted together and she turned to look at me.

 "What is that supposed to mean, Vincent?" She asked.

I didn't know if I should tell her. She knew I was in love with Kio, but I contemplated on telling her the whole story. Meaning the coffee date, the dress, Maeve. No, the dress was staying a secret with me. Only Kio and I were to be aware of that precious moment. 

 Sharing something like this to somebody I've known for only a year, was scary. Yes, I'd come out to her, but actually telling her about this stuff is too much.

"Nothing." I shake my head, looking at her, signifying that I didn't want to talk. I was thankful that she nodded and turned around, turning her speaker back on and we got back to our jam session.

****

I felt so pathetic.   I didn't like spending time alone, but on the rare occasion I did, I would either listen to music or play with Poncho.  Seeing as Poncho was asleep in the living room, the first option was what I had to go with.  

So I put my playlist on shuffle and got to my English homework.  Though I was on Christmas Break, Taker decided to assign a three page essay on the works of Edgar Allen Poe.  

My guy was a pessimist, I get it.  

I'm nearly asleep sitting at with my notebook in hand when a Louis Tomlinson song comes on.

  Don't Let It Break Your Heart.  

I laugh and roll my eyes as I recall my One Direction phase, and how religiously I shipped Harry and Louis. 

I was fourteen around this time and couldn't help but think they were absolutely perfect for each other.  And I would be lying if I didn't still kind of ship it.  I always wanted a relationship like I believe they had.  

Absolute best friends, soulmates.

For no particular reason, I grabbed my laptop, pulling up one of the old Larry Stylinson videos I would watch and squeal at.  Yes, I was one of those fans.

It was one of the video diaries from the X Factor, watching Harry stare at Louis like that reminded me of the way I looked at Kio.  That lovesick look in the eyes, the embarrassed little smile.  

It all added up.  A love so secretive, yet so obvious.  The feelings were there.

Maybe it was silly, maybe I was looking for closure again.  A sign that I was truly in love with Kio.  I don't believe I needed any more explanation.  

It was as if I could not see what was right in front of me, and frankly, I saw it, but chose to ignore it with everything I had. 

I knew everybody deserved a great love story. 

I wasn't sure why I was scared to put myself in that category, as one of those who deserved love.

Great love.