The Chaotic Mess Called the Puppy Pack (Puppy Pack TW)

Nolan's Secret

Nolan gets caught up in something he regrets.

TW: drug usage, drug overdose, self-harm, EDNOS

"Hey, Holloway."

"Hi, Ben," Nolan said to his teammate sitting down beside him outside the guidance office.

"Another panic attack?"

"Unfortunately."

"You see someone for those?"

"Yes, it just doesn't seem to help."

"Take any medications?"

"No, I don't want them; my parents left me for their drug life when I was younger. I don't like them."

"Nolan, Nolan, Nolan you don't know what you are missing," Ben smirked.

"I think I'm fine," Nolan watched his handshake as he felt himself getting anxious again.

"I'm just saying; this might help you calm down," Ben handed him a plastic bag with a few pills in it.

"No, I can't take this."

"You don't have to; it's just an offer."

"What is it?"

"OxyContin, small amounts can relieve anxiety they have similar effects to the releasing of endorphins."

"No, I don't want this. I can't get addicted."

"You won't if your careful," Ben smiled, "just small amounts only when you just have a panic attack. Crush it and snort it to make it work faster."

"No, I don't want it," Nolan stated firmly.

"Just take it, my mom gets it for her back, but she doesn't take it anymore I'll just throw it away if you don't want it."

"Fine, I'll throw it away for you," Nolan shoved the bag into his pocket.

Ben smirked; he knew Nolan was struggling. He overheard plenty of conversations, depression, PTSD, anorexia; he was weak. What if he could bring the boy a small dose of happiness? He would pay for what he did to Edgar, sure he knew it wasn't him directly, but his best friend was dead, and Nolan helped.

"Nolan, you have to eat breakfast; you know this," Alec stared at him as the boy's hand was shaking. "Hey, breathe look at me."

It was toast; he could eat two pieces of toast. He has eaten plenty more than this just some days are harder than others.

"I just need a moment," Nolan rushed upstairs. He looked at himself in the mirror, pathetic. He was freaking out over toast. He glanced at his bag for some reason he hadn't thrown those stupid pills away. He should have; he knew he should have. He couldn't believe he was going to do this; he grabbed the bag, He saw it done plenty of times; he didn't want to admit it, but Gabe convinced him to take some stuff sometimes. He hated it; he was stronger than this, but instead, he crushed the pill and did exactly what Ben expected he would. He quickly made sure there was no evidence and ran back downstairs.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked.

"Yes, I'm good now," Nolan grabbed the toast and took a bite as they ran out the door. Nolan had to drive to school, luckily the school was only a few minutes away because Nolan knew snorting the pill and his body weight being so low it wouldn't take long to work. He got out and walked in and slowly felt it working. He felt a little dizzy, but also his anxiety was reduced, it was kind of peaceful.

"Love you," Nolan turned and kissed Alec in the middle of the hallway.

Alec was taken aback, "love you too," Nolan never started anything especially in public, "have a good day."