My Delirium [Edward x Bella]

Chapter Five

"So, you punched a girl." Charlie sat next to me in the principals office. He had the look in his face, the one he had whenever something shouldn't amuse him, but it still did.

"It seems Bella was...provoked." The principal shuffled papers on his desk. Behind me stood Edward. Lauren sat next to me with her mom. She tutted at the disgrace this must have caused her.

"Well then, seems like a classic case of self defense, no?"

"Yes, but we have a zero tolerance towards any violence. Both Bella and Lauren will be suspended for the rest of the week."

"I swear Lauren..." Her mother sighed. Lauren didn't move an inch.

"Alright, let's go Bella." Charlie said, nearly breaking a smile. I grabbed my bag, Edward following me out.

"I'll drive behind you." I said to him. "Let me just grab some homework from my locker." Charlie nodded.

"I'll wait for you in the lot." He looked at Edward then back at me and nodded.

"So, when did you take self defense classes?" Edward asked with a small smile. As much I didn't want too, I couldn't help but return it.

"This is so fucking stupid." I shook my head. "I can't believe I punched her in the face." I fell into a fit of giggles. Edward laughed alongside me, and kept his distance. I appreciated he finally got the message.

Edward walked me to my locker, leaning against the one beside me. "Emmett is going to have a field day hearing about this."

Emmett's name struck a chord with me. "How is he? And everyone else?"

Edward got serious. "He's fine, the same big bear goof. Him and Rosalie have somehow gotten more intolerable now they've graduated. Jasper misses Alice when she's at school. Carlisle is happy to be back working, and Esme well...she's sad."

I didn't have to ask why, I already knew

"Do you all think I'm crazy?" Why did I even care?! I didn't need their approval.

"No. Just worried." He said.

"How are you?" I asked him. Edward sighed.

"I feel like I've lost a part of myself. I can't get it back, no matter how hard I try. So everything else is just falling out of place, following along."

"Hard work takes time. And patience." With that, I shut my locker and left him.

--

Maybe I should get into fights more often. Suspension was great! I got to stay home, and do whatever I wanted. It was Friday, and I was already dreading going back on Monday. With Charlie gone, I cleaned the house spotless, started and finished a book, and even made an extra 50 bucks house sitting the neighbors dog.

But what I loved the most is that I could just run. No time restrictions, I could wake up with the sunrise, and enjoy the morning on my own. I could come back, sleep some more, and live my life.

Sort of.

On my runs, I had now made it a point to walk once I cleared the woods and was nearing the cliff. I never got too close. The last thing I needed was another Cullen intervention.

However, this morning I was too tired to run. The sun was finally falling, and I felt energized enough. Plus, after a day of sitting around and playing with the dog, I definitely needed to clear my head.

I decided to run this time without music. My breath was calming, and I could hear wildlife around me. In my head, I imagined Edward ran with me.

I wish I was normal. Perhaps then, I'd consider giving him a second chance. But I couldn't, not with Zachary around.

I knew Edward would rip Zachary apart if he knew. But I didn't want him to give up his humanity like that.

Suddenly, I smelled smoke. Panic rose within me. A fire? I tried not to slow down, but the smell got stronger. I couldn't figure out in which direction it came from, and which way to avoid it.

A forest fire? In the wettest place on the planet? How?

Laughter broke the silence. I ran toward the noise, and in a few meters saw some people surrounded by a bonfire, drinking. I rolled my eyes. What fucking idiots, they could burn this whole place down!

I knew some of the kids from school, but not well enough to place any names. I could run back home and call the cops. Charlie would have a fun time busting these kids.

"What are you doing here?" His voice sent a knife down my spine. I turned, Zachary stumbling toward me. He had a beer in one hand, his pants unzipped.

"I was running, I'll leave now." I quickly turned but he grabbed my arm and spun me around, throwing me against the tree.

"You're not going anywhere." He took a swig from his beer, throwing it on the ground before pressing his body against mine. I stood in shock, my throat closing.

"Get of me." It was barely audible. He laughed, his warm breath feeling like grime.

"Why did you do that with Lauren, huh? Is it because you wanted me?" His hands rummaged around our waists, trying to pull mine down. I tried to scratch his hands away, put he pressed against me harder, his hand finding my mouth before I could scream.

I closed my eyes, preparing for the worst before I felt a release.

A loud thud beside me, cold hands grabbed me and ran.

Fast.

Edward's sweet smell brought me to tears as grabbed him tightly around the neck. In a few moments, he stopped.

"Bella." His voice was strained, angry. I opened my eyes, his magnificent house before me. He dropped me on my feet. "I have to go back."

"No, please don't."

"Bella!" He yelled.

"I said no!" I yelled. "No, no no!" I wasn't yelling at him anymore. He kicked the ground, leaving a deep whole and screamed. His were a lot louder than me.

"I'm going to fucking kill him! Bella, please." His yelling quickly turned into a soft voice, curse words falling from his lips like venom. He went to grab my face, but I turned.

"Please don't touch me." I whispered, turning away. My face hot with tears. If there was one moment I was truly ready to keep running off the cliff, it would be this one.

"Please tell me what happened. I need to make him suffer, I need to know, I need-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! Edward, oh my God not everything is about you! You don't need shit!" I ran toward him and punched him in the chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just don't know what to do-"

"Maybe you shouldn't have fucking left!" With every word I banged on his chest. "Then I would have never gone to that stupid party," I could barely speak through my sobs, it felt like I was going crazy. "I would have never met him, he would have ever laid a fucking hand on me! Never kicked me, never..." I screamed. "This is all your fault! Why did you leave?"

Edward's body was shaking, but his face was stone cold. "I'm sorry, my love." I said to him. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault. I'm just messed up, it's not you..." I sobbed, my hand reached his face.

"Yes it is." His eyes met mine, full of pain.

"No, no, no. Never. God, I'm so fucking awful sometimes I just want to-"

"Stop. Don't say it. Please, Bella I swear..." His eyes closed, face pressed against my hand. "I promise I will try and make this right."

A light drizzle started to fall, the sun nearly set. My body felt tired, and I just wanted to lie down. I took off my shoes, my feet thanking me for the wet, soft dirt beneath them. I crouched down and laid in the grass, letting the water get heavier on my body. Edward lay beside me, his hand barely touching mine.

It was more than enough.