My Delirium [Edward x Bella]

Chapter Two

I awoke before the world. Sun greeting me, I opened my windows wide. The cool air signaled fall was pressing upon Forks. The cloud cover was becoming somehow more constant, menacing today with rain.

I had a few hours until school, I decided a run would be my best bet to awaken my body from my horrible nights sleep. In the bathroom, no matter how much cold water I splashed on my face there was no remedy. My eyes puffy, hair disheveled from a growing out pixie. I ran my wet fingers through my hair.

It reminded me too much of Alice.

An angry ache appeared in my chest. I changed into a sports bra and shorts, running downstairs then quickly out the door. My music was loud, hurting my ears. But I needed it.

I knew what I looked like running. Disproportionate, my diet intentionally keeping me alive and healthy, thin but building muscle. I had lost whatever breasts I had, my legs thickening with each step I took throughout the trail behind my house.

Body in a trail of healing bruises.

The run to the cliffs was unfortunately taking less time than before, my stamina increasing. I tried to distract myself from today. This summer without the Cullens introduced me to Zachary.

His name sent venom down my spine.

Fuck the Cullens for leaving me. Finding any excuse to distract myself, I stupidly agreed to go to a party with Jessica. In the midst of sweaty teens and a faint smell of cheap beer, I found Zachary.

He was as different from any Cullen as I could imagine. He had long, blonde hair. Slightly greasy a top of his long angular face, with some blemishes. He was cute, and imperfect.

I picked up my pace, the clearing in my field of vision.

At first, Zachary was the sweetest. But he picked up on my weakness. He knew I was hurt and used that to his advantage.

A knot built up in my throat, tears rushing through my eyes as I ran. I took a deep breath. I couldn't cry.

I had already cried enough. Over the Cullens, over the man Zachary became trying to control me.

To love me, as he called it.

The cliff was close. Only a few more minutes.

I hoped I didn't hear Edward's voice.

Thankfully Zachary had gotten sick of me, and dumped me. It was the best day of my life. But my bruises still remained, and I didn't want to see him at school. Or anywhere.

No!

The voice rang in my ears over my loud music. My feet halted hard, only steps away.

So close.

I ripped out my earplugs, throwing my phone on the floor to intently listen to my surroundings.

That wasn't him.

"No, no, no, no!" My whispered turned into yelling, the waves below too calm to mask my pain. But I didn't care. I yelled until I thought my throat would burst and bleed out, and then some more. I kept my eyes closed.

She isn't back.

Alice isn't back.

None of them are back, none of them cared about me.

I could feel hot tears rushing down my face. I picked up my phone and blasted my music louder, more painful. I kept my eyes down, reaching a sprint that exceeded all of my energy to get back home.

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My old truck roared in the buzzing parking lot, an experience which no longer fazed me. I couldn't care less what people thought of me. I parked next to Jessica and Angela, who were chatting with Mike, Tyler, and...

His arm was wrapped around Lauren Mallory, a girl I never really liked. She looked happy, and it reached her eyes.

Just because I didn't like her doesn't mean I wanted her to go through the same experience I did.

"Hey guys." I hopped out of my car, standing half behind Angela after she gave me a hug.

"Bella! Excited for Senior year?" Mike said, giving me a once over. No matter how ugly I tried to present myself to the world, that boy would always have a crush on me.

"Excited for it to end, honestly." I responded. They all agreed in unison.

"Is that really your first day outfit?" Lauren asked.

"It's fine, casual right? No one wants to try too hard on the first day." Jessica said, someone untruthfully. A fine line between being my friend and Lauren's.

"She looks fine, Lauren." He said. His voice made me want to crawl into a hole and suffocate myself.

"I don't really care much for fashion. Whatever works." I shrugged. In reality, I was glad she had mentioned something. Lauren, however vain she was, confirmed my outfit as being plain or ugly. Exactly what I wanted.

"Woah..." Angela said behind me. I looked over at her, and followed her gaze at the end of the parking lot.

My heart dropped.

"So what, they had a summer vacay in LA and now they're back? Ugh, I wish I had that type of money." Jessica said, flipping her hair back. "You guys aren't together though, right?"

Alice and Edward both got out of the sleek, black Mercedes. I didn't know where to look, both their eyes locked on mine.

But eventually, I found his. Warm honey, almond shaped perched upon his perfect face.

Rage burned through me.

"No, thankfully." I broke eye contact, rolling my eyes.

"Oh." I could already feel Jessica weighing the options of breaking friend rule #1: don't date their ex's.

The first bell broke up our group, everyone heading to their first class. "See you at lunch!" Mike yelled back to everyone, making eye contact with me.

"I'm pretty sure I saw Mike do a blackflip at the corner of my eye when he found out you were single again." Angela said walking beside me. We had three classes together this year, which would make this journey a whole lot easier.

"I'm pretty set on being single right now." I kept my head straight on, tall, as we walked beside Alice and Edward. I could feel a chill rising through my chest.

"Hey, I know it's been a couple of months, but if you need someone to talk too..." I had forgotten. Zachary kept our relationship a secret, my outward depression everyone assuming was all for Edward.

"I'm fine." I smiled at her. She rubbed my arm, walking into first period English. We took our seats in the front corner, a calculated move I made to avoid anyone sitting next to me because as I predicted, Edward walked in a few seconds before the bell rang. He sat at the opposite end, his face looking sullen. I didn't allow myself to study him for long. I didn't want too, even though I could feel his eyes on me.

"Well, in that case, Jessica was talking about a party Zachary is throwing at his house on Friday to start the year off. Do you want to come?" His name brought my attention back to Angela.

"I'll think about it." I lied. I kept my head down, sadness burning at the back of my throat. However, I was glad he looked sullen. I hoped he was so fucking sad he'd kill himself.