The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me

A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest

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"Why are you doing this?" I whispered.

He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine.
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Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him.

Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love.

Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other?

Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism.

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Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct):

"From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda."

"Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read."

"Where humor"

"You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."