My Arabella - An Alex Turner Fanfic

Chapter 21

Perhaps he's just like the others, the other boys who are just playing with girls like toys, who don't give a damn about feelings, who live just for fun, food, drink and sex. That's it. But he is not just a boy; he lives for something else than those. A girl is dead because of him and his retarded friend, Alexa. Who the hell is she actually, and why did she come back? That's the question I will never get an answer to. That's the question that haunts me.

And why the hell do I keep writing about them? About him. I might just close this damn diary and go to sleep, but I can't. I need  to keep me occupied, cause I can't really sleep. I Haven't slept for three days now; My eyelids hurt already and I don't know what to do. Kyle is by my side, as he always was but at least he can sleep like a damn baby and I am so jelous. 

I missed him. I missed my brother more than I can imagine.

I wrapped the blanket around my frozen body, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't get some sleep, so I decided that I should count sheep till my eyes will finally close. But that didn't happen, and it was already morning. The rays of the sun shone in my room, almost igniting my white sheets; my eyes were burning in my head, and my chest ached. I couldn't bare to go another night without sleeping, but the memories and also the future haunted me; I felt like a ghost in this house, creeping trough the rooms, then hopping back onto my bed, it was a routine to me already. 

I crept into the bathroom, and the cold tiles were tickling my feet. Maybe a hot shower would liven me up, would make me sleep just a couple of hours. The steamy water elapsing on my shivering and tremblin body sent a lot of jolts, an odd flicker was sent down my spine. I brushed my dry skin with the loopa, almost collapsing when the scent of the shower gel invaded my nose; I couldn't stand the strong scent of liliac on my body.

Grabbing a change of clothes from the closet, I walked again in the bathroom. The steams were covering the entire mirror. With a clean towel, I wiped it to see my face; I was like a zombie, pale but red igniting lips. My dark bags under the eyes stood out, and my hair was really messy, seeped on my neck. I scratched the bag of my neck, taking a pair of baggy pants and a sweatshirt from my collection of 'bands shirts'. I applied some foundation cream to hide my bags under my eyes, in hope to not look like a fresh zombie anymore.

My nostrils were invaded by coffee scent, strong one, and I followed it till the kitchen, where Kyle was also preparing breakfast.

"How did you sleep?" he smiled.

"I didn't" my voice was shaky and low. "How did you?"

He semi-smiled paying attention to the bacon he was frying. "Good, really. When are you going to London?"

London? Ah, London. I promised Alex that I will go and support them at their interview. Not.

"Umh .. I don't know." my answer is sharp. "Next week?" I yawn.

"Tomorrow Bell', you're s'pposed to go tomorrow."

Tomorrow? No freaking way. I am not healthy enough to make my way to London with the person I despise most. "Do I really have to? "

" You promised them. Him."

I went back into my room, putting on a pair of jeans and a jumper. I have to meet him and talk about all this shit. About him and his mistakes, the Alexa girl and stuff.

"At the  pub, in ten"
Umh, okay. Are you okay?
" Like you actually care"

I put the phone back in my pocket and hopped in the car. I leaned my head on the steering wheel, signing deeply. I had no idea what was I really doing, but I had to talk to him, to see him again.