𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 || 𝐜𝐦𝐛

53

first person [serenity]

corbyn i swear i could about kill him right now. he is seriously treating me like a baby. i'm not. i just want help. that's all i want right now, but he can't see it. we have been here sitting on the kitchen floor, in silence.

"you promised me something that probably won't happen again corbyn. you promised that you wouldn't leave me like this. but what if i feel like it's best?" i finally ask, running my fingers through my hair. "ren...c'mon don't say that."

"no corbyn. i left you, we tried to forget about each other but's too hard. i don't know. i feel giving up. i'm not giving my all." i let out, folding my arms around my legs.

"ren no. i will not allow you to give up. because that's not something your mom, or sadie would like to see for you." he tells me, sighing.

"then what would they want to fucking see? hm? because when i moved across the country? started a music career, did some modeling met a boy. seriously corbyn..you think it's so easy huh?"

"no i didn't say that. and i wasn't implying it either. i don't think it's easy. hell i've been there." corbyn says, untying his shoes and setting them aside. "when? tell me when."

"ren you know the story. i started the band, we toured. i had a little fling with christina. nothing more. just the stress yeah? it's shitty. and the drama. all the god damn pages about us- me. and all i did was drag you into it."

he didn't drag me into anything. it was the fans, they just love to put everything they say about the boys online. no filters. maybe that's where i got my anxiety from. from this relationship.

"corbyn- you didn't do anything. it's just me. that's it. me." i tell him, muffled as my hands cover my mouth. "serenity look at me." he suggests, his head softly hitting the oven.

i sign and look at corbyn. while locking eye contact, he moves next to me. wrapping his arms around me. "it's not you. this is exactly why we have a session with the therapist. maybe a diary would help?"

maybe it would, get my mind right. like a songbook, i could write my feelings then turn them into songs. wow i'm so creative. "maybe. i just don't know. this therapist is a complete stranger. i don't feel comfortable telling them all my life shit."

"think about it. we were strangers at some point. but we both warmed up to each other. and hell look at us. taking all deep on your apartment floor." corbyn says, rubbing my back. "what if they make fun of me?"

"i'll kick their ass."

and this is why i still like this man. well not like, i've developed love for corbyn besson. "corbyn how the fuck do you do it? like deal with the hate?" i ask, taking in his strong cologne. which is my favorite scent.

"i just try to block it out. there was even a fan account for the band, but the only person they didn't like was me. and of course it just happened to be around my birthday. literally it broke me. i felt like ending it all right then."

"but you remembered that you belong here?" i ask, kissing his jaw. no dirty things here, serenity doesn't do that. "yes, just like you need to remember ren. you were meant to be put on this earth for a reason."