Think Twice

Chapter 17

            She took a deep breath after they incapacitated the royal guards, steeling herself for the final battle. She wasn’t happy about having to fight Master Kenobi, and she was even less happy how little he’d taken responsibility for his own and the Jedi’s mistakes. Though the fight with him hadn’t been calm and controlled, she’d sincerely hoped that if they’d be forced to confront him, she could prove to him that what she was doing was right, even if it wasn’t a course of action based on their beliefs. Though admittedly, she had hoped she wouldn’t have to face him beforehand. It had rattled her nerves, but she couldn’t back down now. Anakin had been right, the next time she’d see him, they’d be on opposite sides. By now, he’d probably called for backup and if fighting the Chancellor wasn’t terrifying enough, things were about to get way worse.

            She believed in why they were here, it was the strongest sense of purpose she’d ever felt and if she had to sacrifice her life in order to free him, she would do so. But if she were honest with herself, she was terrified. Ironically not of Darth Sidious or of his power, she was terrified that she was in the wrong. Wrong about the Chancellor’s true identity. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Anakin, after all, she felt every tremor from him as they got closer and closer to their goal. It was just still so hard to believe that none of the Jedi stood in his presence, not Yoda, Windu, Obi Wan, or the others, and once suspected his true nature. That burned her insides with fear. If the Jedi were really that lost or blind, what hope would the galaxy have of stopping him if her and Anakin failed today? 

            She knew they had the power, but as she’d come to understand, it wasn’t power alone that could beat him. He played psychological games, he made you doubt yourself, he twisted your desires, he threatened all that mattered to you. Though she’d shown Anakin on Mandalore how to get to the eye of the storm, their fight with master Kenobi a few minutes ago, made it clear that years of pent up hatred was harder for him to escape. And there was no one he hated more than Sidious. So, if the chancellor started playing those games, if he threatened her or made him doubt himself... would they be able to find that love that was needed to stop him or would everything fall apart?

            She’d purposely taken control of their fight with Obi Wan. She’d kept herself between them, by staying in tune with Anakin’s shifts, by saying some of it for him to help validate his feelings and prove to him he had an ally. She let him go further than she liked, hoping that she could pull him back before it was too late. And she had, somehow. But she suspected the same method wouldn’t work with Sidious, because ultimately, he had to be the one to free himself. She was just there for support. Though she still wasn’t very understanding of revenge or why it drove you, she did see very clearly why the person seeking it, especially in a case like this, needed to be the one that landed the final blow. 

            The Jedi part of her told her, that ideally, they’d take the chancellor alive. But her sense of purpose and need for justice meant that nothing would stop her from getting out of the way when he was on his knees and Anakin was about to finish him. Maybe she wasn’t really doing what was right. It might be right for him, but was it right for everyone else? The people deserved to hear his crimes against them, to know why he’d been targeted. Otherwise, it would only throw the entire Republic into chaos. 

            So yeah, she was far more terrified than she wanted to let on, but she’d made him a promise and she wouldn’t back down now. All she could hope for at this point, was that between them and the Mandalorians, they could minimize the collateral damage of what they were about to do. It was for the greater good, right? That’s always what the Jedi taught, after all.