Chapter 13

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            She stared out the transparisteel glass at the stars feeling different. She’d been raised as a Jedi, she believed in their teachings. It was all she really knew, except… maybe there was more to life and the force than even they knew. They always taught to trust your feelings, to trust the force, but they never taught that the force could lead you way away from their teachings. If it did, they’d probably say she’d been tempted by the dark side. And maybe... they’d be right. 

            She glanced to the side at his legs as he tinkered with something underneath the control panel. He was a Sith after all, and he’d definitely tempted her, but not at all how she’d expected. She hadn’t been swayed by promises of power or prestige, or any of the things she’d been warned about for years. Instead she’d been tempted by love. Something that by its very nature couldn’t be dark. There could be darkness around it or because of it, but it could never be dark. In fact, the rush of love she’d felt for him earlier in the cargo hold had been powerful enough to break through the darkness that had fallen. 

            She still didn’t know what had possessed her to kiss him rather than find another way to break Sidious’ hold. All she knew was that she’d been acting purely on instinct and how she was feeling at that moment. Something that was still pumping through her and making her feel warm just thinking about it. She’d been confused at first, thinking that he was trying to teach her another lesson, but then she’d seen him claw at his own skull and heard an unnatural voice utter from his lips. That was when she realized that his master was trying to get him to kill her and he might have succeeded had Anakin not fought back.

            She shivered remembering the way fear had coursed through her when she’d heard him say she had to die. It had been far more terrifying than even their fight on his ship when he’d been intent on killing her. Just by association, or rather, because she could offer his apprentice something he couldn’t, she’d now become a target by the most terrifying foe there was. Anakin had fought so hard, he’d thrown himself into everything trying to get Sidious out. If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what was. With everything his dark master could do, it had struck her hard what it cost him to resist it; not just to save himself but to save her. 

            If she’d still had any doubts about how he felt about her, they were gone now. It bothered her that she hadn’t fully understood the threat Sidious posed until she’d witnessed that. She’d foolishly believed that he was exaggerating; that no one could be that vile. Despite seeing the cruel things Dooku and Ventress and even Grievous had done, it never occurred to her just how far they’d go to dominate. In fact, she was starting to feel like the Jedi had hardly prepared her for the threat that existed out here. All of Anakin’s warnings over the years made a lot more sense now; the Jedi don’t understand the real world. They don’t understand the Sith; their own ancient enemy. But they also don’t understand love, just like Sidious.

            It was still somewhat difficult to reconcile the frail and seemingly kindly old man that the chancellor appeared to be, with the evil that could trap a person’s soul or torture them mercilessly. It was horrifying to know that was the person the Jedi took orders from, that was the person running the entire Republic, the senate... the war...

            Anakin screwed the panel back into place and rolled out from under the console, wiping his hands on his pants. She looked him over, her eyes resting on the bandages she’d helped wrap around his head after he’d fought with Sidious. She could tell many of his wounds often went untreated, turning into horrible scars. And now she wondered how many of the wounds she’d believed were self-inflicted were the result of a similar experience to what she’d witnessed. 

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