Think Twice

Chatper 3

            She picked up two practice sabers and stood in front of the practice dummy. She took a deep breath and studied the weapons in her hands. He'd said her left hand was weak, that wasn't the first time she'd heard that. But somehow hearing it from the enemy freaked her out a little more. He could tell just where her training or lack of practice failed her and that terrified her. If the enemy could so easily see her weaknesses, how long before it would get her killed?

            She stared at the mannequin in front of her. She still didn't understand why he was trying to help her, or even if that's what he was doing at all. For all she knew, he could be trying to mess with her head and make her doubt her training. That seemed more like something a Sith would do. But... he didn't act like any of the others. He'd had a dozen opportunities to kill her both times they fought and for whatever reason, he restrained himself. The first time made some sense, if it was a diversion from their real plot, why waste the energy killing a padawan? But this last time? 

            She'd made him mad. He had every reason to finish her off. She rolled her shoulders, still sore from where she'd made contact with the wall. Everything had gone black for awhile. When she came too, he was gone. Which meant that she would have been helpless to stop him from killing her, but he didn't. He chose not to.

            His instructions on how to swing her lightsaber and defend herself felt well intended. And on top of that, he seemed to enjoy flirting with her. Which was strange. Master Kenobi and Ventress flirted and taunted, but it always felt like play acting. That neither of them truly cared whether they explored those feelings. But if she didn't know better, she'd almost think he was serious about his advances. 

            She thought about the way he'd showed her just how weak her left side was. He wasn't the nicest person ever, but it still felt like he was trying to help her. She set down the right saber and for awhile, swung her left one repeatedly at the training dummy. It was awkward and frustrating, and she had no idea just what she was doing wrong. She'd tried to ask master Kenobi a few times, but he kept telling her to trust it, which didn't really help. There was clearly something wrong with her form, but since she was the only one around that preferred the reverse grip, it was hard to get help on it. 

            To block his strike, he'd told her she should have spun her saber into the forward grip. Maybe that's what was the problem. She tried to do everything in reverse and then her blocks were weak. But switching mid-fight? That seemed hard. She tried to spin the saber forward and accidentally dropped it. Yeah that's helpful, Skyguy. She rolled her eyes and pulled it back to her hand. She tried to spin it a few more times and after about fifteen tries she managed to toss it up and switch her grip, while twirling and swinging. It wasn't ideal, but she was starting to think she might actually be able to get this move down. 

            And now that she thought about it, performing jar kai normally... she had a lot more strength in the position, so it made more sense to block with her lightsabers forward and fight with them backwards. Maybe he really was trying to help her. That was already more than any of her teachers at the temple instructed. She preferred the reverse grip, so they told her how to use it or to just keep practicing. None of them had ever suggested for her to try and switch forms mid fight. Probably because it would be a dangerous move, but if she could master it... it would be better than fumbling to block in her reverse grip. 

            She pulled both practice sabers to her hands and moved to the center of the dojo. She mentally replayed both of their fights in her head, picking out opportunities with which she could have switched forms and seeing if she could manage to do it in the heat of whatever had been going on at the time. She dropped them a few times but was determined to figure it out. This was a trick that could become very useful. 

            When she exhausted herself trying to do this she sat down hard on the ground to catch her breath. She almost wished he was here to help her practice, not that she'd admit that to anyone. But he'd been right, with a few minutes of instruction he'd helped her improve far more than her teachers. Going up against him was terrifying, even when he was just playing with her, but it was harder to keep from her master and the council the other stuff he did. 

            After what happened on Kamino, she couldn't bring herself to tell master Kenobi that he'd kissed her. Or the way he'd pulled her into his arms, or worse, that she'd actually liked his touch and the kiss. And what about what happened yesterday? How it felt repeatedly like they were only fighting because they were supposed to, not because either of them wanted to. At one point they'd ended up back to back, almost like they were on the same side defending each other. If she hadn't of felt him move, she wouldn't have gotten out of the way in time of master Kenobi's swing. Which was a terrifying thought. But at the same time, she'd probably be told she shouldn't even have been in the middle of it. He'd told her to stay back after all, but she'd dove into the fight anyways. Now that she thought about it, she was surprised she hadn't gotten in trouble for that. 

            That was twice she'd gone up against the Chosen One; the most powerful force user the Jedi had seen for over a thousand years and somehow came out unscathed. Though she suspected when the time came that she was no longer fun for him to play with, she wouldn't be so lucky. She looked over at the practice dummy again and it slowly morphed into him. His intimidating height, the graceful yet confident way he moved and held himself. His dark golden eyes that could pierce your soul. His light blonde brown hair that was long enough to tie back at the base of his neck, but always had a few wavy strands loose that framed his face. And that crazy smirk that she simultaneously liked and also wanted to wipe off his face. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. This was not good. 

            She was a Jedi. Even if attachments were allowed, he was a Sith. What the kriff was she even thinking? He made her feel things though, things she knew were wrong. She also felt connected to him on some level, like the force kept bringing them together. Maybe she was supposed to pull him back to the light? She didn't really know if that were possible, but the thought nagged at her in the back of her brain. He was a Sith, but maybe, maybe not by choice...