𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐖 | d. malfoy

author's note

hello. it's me

it's been a while, hasn't it?

i've come to the [super duper really, truly hard] decision to abandon this fanfic.

don't get me wrong, i still love harry potter. but now i have closure.

i started this fic while i was insomniac, i had recently reread the books and had my wounds had been reopened. i couldn't bear to know that my favorite characters died, and i wanted to pretend that they didn't.

reading fanfiction was my escape; i could pretend that they could be saved. it came to a point when i was so dependent on these escapes that i wanted more. i wanted things my way. i started writing 'the girl who saw'.

it provided great relief and slowly, but surely, i reached a closure that it seemed silly for me to keep writing this when i could be so much more creative writing my own story. so i started writing 'together'- whilst still updating this story because i thought, 'why not?' together didn't work out, i messed up because i didn't plan it at all; i was just desperate to prove to myself that i was a better writer than what i portrayed writing fanfiction because let's face it, y'all. fanfic writing- you either do it for fun or you do it because you can't actually write. i started writing this for fun and it isn't fun anymore, so i've decided to discontinue this story. 

'the girl who saw' was the first story i really committed to, and for that, i am grateful. i barely got any readers, but that wasn't really the point anyway, so still, i am grateful for this experience as a writer. i didn't plan for rosie to become so externally evil- she was supposed to stay on the 'light side' publicly throughout the war. she was supposed to be with harry. she was supposed to be a gryffindor. rosie was my sweetheart. now she has her own mind, her own soul that i cannot take credit for. when i write about her i don't think, nothing happened the way i planned it to happen. she morphed herself into the person she wanted to be and that was the beauty of this story for me. i explored the control i had over my characters and now i've realized- i don't want them to have free reign. especially with fanfiction, these stories already have a baseline. something the characters have to be- as canon. if it were my own story, sure, i'd let my characters bounce around and be whoever they want to be, something that i did here, learned not to do, and didn't do in my other story, 'together', (a huge mistake). this is not where i planned my fanfic to be, but my mind is perfectly happy in the place where it is now. i'm okay with the deaths, (well not okay, but accepting) and i'm not utterly dependent in devouring fanfiction every day to fill the holes that dead characters had left in me.

i really loved writing this, guys. sometime, when i feel up to it, i might go back to the first chapters and rewrite or edit them. i might even update new chapters if i absolutely feel like it.

i will, unlike 'together' (i'm still trying to decide whether or not to just delete that story completely) most definitely keep this story published on wattpad.

this decision was hard. sorry

merry christmas

ginger