COFFEE | MCYTs x READER

•+, George

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗘𝗡

𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧: A poorly written songfic

( SHE/HER )

Shut up, count your calories

I looked at myself in the mirror, then looking down at the scale I stood on. A ton of thoughts flowed into my head. No, shut up and just count the damn calories of what you're eating.

I never looked good in mom jeans

Like everyday, I stood in front of my mirror. Pointing out any insecurity I have before other people can. I went through pants after pants, none looked good. Especially the mom jeans, those looked terrible on me.

Wish I was like you
Blue-eyed blondie, perfect body
Maybe I should try harder

Why can't I just be pretty? Sky blue eyes instead of my dreadful e/c (eye color) eyes, shiny blonde hair instead of my terrible h/c (hair color. A perfect body, even a skinny one would suffice! I tried harder, eating on small diets and stuff.

You should lower your expectations
I was never cut out for prom queen

'Jesus, you're so.. obese, lose some weight fatass!'

I smiled internally at that, how entertaining this was. The same show over and over. I'm sorry i'm not amazing, a trophy girlfriend! Why can't they just lower their expectations..? I'm only a human who could take so much. I was never cut out for prom queen was I?

If I get more pretty
Do you think he will like me?

I stared down at myself. Looking down at my arms, I thought about my best friend, George. I may or may not have had a fat crush on him for a while now. I bit my lip. I'm too ugly for his taste.. What if I got prettier? Would he like me then?

Disect my insecurities

I felt cold, salty tears run down my face slowly. Still staring at my reflection, I judged myself, going through each of my insecurities. I sighed, I was hopeless.

I'm a defect, surgical project
It's getting hard to breathe
There's plastic wrap in my cheeks

(IDK WHAT TO PUT FOR THIS SO IMAGINE SUMN-)

Maybe I should try harder
You should lower your beauty standards

I got on call with George and told him the situation, besides my fat crush on him. He always knew how to make me feel better.

"Should I try harder? I mean, they won't like me if I'm not pretty."

"Y/N, you should lower you standards, you're amazing and beautiful the way you are.."

"I.. I just want people to like me, to not point my insecurities every goddamn second."

I'm no quick-curl barbie

"Y/N, you're not a perfect barbie, no one is. No one's perfect, everyone has flaws."

I blushed slightly at that comment, boy was I glad he couldn't see me right now.

I was never cut out for prom queen

I sighed. 'You're never gonna be prom queen! So don't try boo.' kept replaying in my mind like broken record.

If I'm pretty, will you like me?
They say "Beauty makes boys happy"

Today was no different. Get up, point out your flaws, and be happy. Throughout the afternoon I found myself thinking about yesterday. You still wondered, Would he like me if I were pretty?

"Beauty makes boys happy."

I've been starving myself
Carving skin until my bones are showing

I smiled in my tears, looking down at myself. This again, seriously? I let out a shaky sigh. I looked over to my side and see a sharp blade. They wouldn't mind, they won't care anyway.

Teach me how to be okay
I don't wanna downplay my emotionsThey say "Beauty is vain
You'll only be happy if you look a certain way"

I looked at my arm, looking at the bloodshed from the freshly made slits. I heard the doorbell ring and covered my arm up. I ran downstairs in an instant, opening the door, I saw George.

"Oh hi George!" I said, trying not to make it obvious. Unfortunately for me, the blood bled through my hoodie, and I take it he noticed.

"Is your arm okay?"

".. Yeah, just got some cuts from a bush."

"Y/N, tell the truth."

"I.."

"Can you show me your arms, please?"

I mumbled something under my breathe. Hestitantly, I rolled up my sleeves, letting him see the new wounds. He stayed silent. Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around me. I hugged back, crying. I needed this, I just didn't know it. I don't wanna downplay my emotions most of the time.

"Why Y/N..? Why?" He asked, still in a hug.

"It-It just felt right." I replied. He hugged my tighter.

I wanna be okay
I wanna be okay

lol i dont know what to put here either-