oh, anna [-hs]

six inch heels

a/n WELCOME to the TRIPLE UPDATE! (1/3)

ooh spooky times inbound.

Here are some look books. A useful tool that will help us later!

anyway, brace yourselves because a whole lotta stuff is about to go down...

46.

Happy Halloween, boo.

The only scary thing in my life this year is the way my brain is scrambled from therapy two weeks ago.

Bea was right. I don't know how it happened. But somehow, I'm in a relationship. I'm just in denial, pretending it's something else.

It's fucking terrifying.

I mean, how do I talk to Harry about it? Talk to anyone about it? As soon as I open my mouth, there'll be this wall of invisible expectations.

Bea scared the living shit out of me that day. She took my entire coping mechanism, my way of muddling through life, and turned it on its head. My logic that I thought was foolproof actually had more plot holes than a piece of swiss cheese.

She seemed to sense that she was ripping my insides out and blowing my mind, because she gave me a gentle assignment, hoping to ease my spirit.

"Just call him your boyfriend in your head for a week or two," she offers warmly. "That way, there's no pressure, no expectations, you can just get used to the word by yourself. And when you're ready, you can say it out loud."

So that's what I'm doing. In my head, Harry's my boyfriend. I even wrote it down on a yellow piece of paper and stuck it in my back pocket to carry around for a few days.

I think Bea helped me realize that I'm a lot farther along than I thought. I thought I had more work to do, that I wasn't ready. Maybe I'm not ready to say anything out loud, but I'm surprising myself with just how devoted and lovey-dovey I can get in my own mind.

"Quinn," Emma sighs heavily, annoyance lacing her words. "Stop blinking so much."

"I can't help it," I laugh, shaking myself out of my thoughts. "You're sticking a freaking sword in my eye socket."