solemnly mine ▫️ g.f.w

t e n

⚠️ WARNING⚠️ : Mentions sexual assault.

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The next morning Marie and I woke up just a little early to go for a run before classes started and then we got ready for our day. Making our way to our first class of the new year. Both of us in our Gryffindor house sweater and navy skirt.

I sat in class next to Marie. The both of us giggling on about Fred and Georges prank this morning on Professor Snape. That's when the class got quiet. Everyone turned their heads and there he was.

Him.

Bryce Hollen.

My ex-boyfriend.

My manipulative, abusive ex-boyfriend.

Someone who didn't take no for answer. Even when I was screaming and crying for him to stop. 

The first boy I loved, who took advantage of me. 

Took a part of me I can no longer get back, something that was supposed to be share in an intimate moment between two people who loved and care for each other. It was gone. It was ruined.

He sauntered into class just as he normally did and took a seat close by me as my eyes never left him. His eyes finding mine in the room. That devilish smirk growing on his face as his eyes wandered over my body. Knowing every inch of me. Making my heart sink to my stomach as I wanted to throw up. 

Now he was here.

He was back.

I thought I would never see him again. I thought he transferred. Everything that I feared the most was now right in front of me again.

Everything I did this summer to forget him all came back. The countless nights I spent crying and screaming into the void was all for nothing. The nights I spent alone because I couldn't bear to tell my father what happened to me.

For the longest time, only Marie knew of the night where my life changed. How I was taken against my will to do something I didn't want to do with him. After a few weeks of my father hearing me crying I finally broke down and told him. Now it was just Marie and my father who knew my dirty, dark secret. Not even Fred and George. 

If they knew.

They would kill him.

I felt Maries' hand on my forearm. Pulling my arm away quickly from her touch as I imagined it was him touching me. My breathing becoming short and panicked. Everything I worked on to make myself feel safe and comfortable to be touched by someone again, washed away. 

My chest was tightening and I felt every memory come flowing back. My leg bouncing up and down as my vision became blurry. The tears had begun to pool but not dare to stream down my face, while his eyes were still on me. The smirk on his face only growing on his face. His stupid smug face. 

I looked over at Marie as a tear escaped my eye.

"Go," She whispered, "I'll make up and excuse. Get out of here." I quickly pushed back my chair, leaving my books on the table next to here, and left the classroom as quickly as I could. I felt his eyes following me as I left the room. I knew exactly what was going on in his brain.

My breathing picking up faster as I roamed down the halls. Away from him. I wanted to get as far away as possible. He was supposed to be gone. He wasn't supposed to be here. Why was he back?

I wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my father where I knew I was safe. I wanted to be protected. How could I protect myself now that he was back if I couldn't in the first place?