solemnly mine ▫️ g.f.w

e l e v e n

At the end of the day, I didn't even want to go to dinner. Knowing that he was going to be there, made me sick. So I made up an excuse. Luckily the twins believed me. I went to the library instead. Little did I know that my problem would be there too.

I was minding my own business, beginning to work ahead in my Transfiguration class on a paper that Professor McGonagall had already assigned. I swear I love that woman but she really loves to watch us all squirm as we panic to write a 6-page paper due by the next class.

"Hey, Daisy. You seem surprised to see me," I heard his voice say from behind me. My heart stopped beating as I looked up from my paper. Looking towards the door as I wanted to run out of the library. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he walked out from behind me and now stood next to me as I sat in my seat. Feeling the panic take over my body. Wishing for a way out of here.

"You know running out of the classroom earlier was pathetic and weak," He said as he pulled the chair out across from me. Moving it over next to me as I watched him sit down. Feeling the fear in my body rise as I wish I had time to run away.

"I thought you transferred. You were supposed to be at Drumstrang," I said as gripped my quill tighter. Feeling the brittle bone of the feather wanting to break beneath my fingers as he lowered his body down closer to me.

"They didn't want me, so I am back," He whispered close to my body as he was now sitting right next to me.

"Funny," I scoffed as I looked over at him, staring into devilish green eyes, "I guess Drumstrang and I have something in common." 

Bryce quickly reached his hand over and gripped my wrist strongly as my quill fell out of my fingers. My eyes looking at his fingers as they had wrapped their way around my wrist. His fingers digging into my sink. Feeling it burn beneath his touch. My hand seizing as he pulled my arm closer towards him. Digging his nails deeper into my sink as I let out a loud gasp. catching the attention of a few students around us. 

"Now, that wasn't nice to say, was it," He gritted as my eyes searched the room, "You need to apologize for hurting me."

"My days for apologizing to you are over. Way over. You mean nothing to me," I gritted through my teeth as I wanted him to let go of me. Wishing he would let go of me.

"If I meant nothing to you, you wouldn't have run out of the classroom earlier," He said as his grip loosened and he sat back in his chair still looking at me. His arms crossing over his chest as I held on to my wrist as I looked back up towards him.

"You know you wanted it that night. It's not my fault. You were begging for me. If anything you took advantage of me," He lied.

Tears pooling in my eyes again. Showing that I was weak to him. My breathing becoming unsteady as I pressed my lips into a straight line. Watching the smirk on his face grow bigger.

"What are you going to do? Cry to dad about it. You're just like him. Not so innocent after all," He gritted. My hands balling into fists.

"You are a sick person," I gritted as I pulled his grasp off of my wrist.

"You liked it didn't you? That night," He whispered in my ear, letting his words trickle down my back, "You want it to happen again. Maybe this time we will both want it. You'll come back. They all do." As he placed his hand on my thigh. Giving it a small squeeze. Just before I pushed him off me.

"I will never come back to you, you controlling, manipulative, ignorant boy. That is all you are. You will never be anything more," I stated as our faces were inches away. Closer than I ever wanted to be to him. Ever again.

"Brave words coming from a weak soul," He spoke as he placed his other hand on my cheek. I turned my head away from him as I wanted to be out of his reach. His touch. Him. His fingers trapping my chin and forcefully pulling my face back to his.

"Get out of my life, Bryce, or I swear I will get you expelled," I said. Bryce got up from his seat. Putting it back on the other side of the table before walking back pasted me. He placed his hand on my shoulder as I looked up at him.

"You are nothing than a pathetic little girl. If I had the chance I would do it all over again just to watch you squirm," He hushed. My body heating up as he shoved my shoulder back. 

I sat there in pain. By his words and his actions. He was supposed to be gone. He was never to touch me again, speak to me. Now I have to look over my shoulder wondering if he is going to be there to do it all over again. I can't let that happen. It won't.

I quickly grabbed my things as my hands began to shake. My body trembling at his words as I wanted to make him disappear as he should have. I shoved my pieces of parchment in my books. Gripping my quill and ink before leaving the library. Quickly walking out and into the hallway. My thigh still tingling from his touch as I tried to brush it off.

I could feel my heart racing as I tried to calm my nerves. Trying to breath normal and think happy thought as my father taught me over the summer. Over the summer my panic attacks got better thanks to him. He taught me what he did while he was in Azkaban. 

Shut my eyes, think of one happy thought, and breathe it in as the bad thoughts washed away. Keep breathing in that thought until the bad one no longer lingered.

But I couldn't think of a happy thought. All I wanted to do was get to my dorm and take a shower. Let the water do the work. Not my mind. As I walked the halls, I felt the tears streaming down my face. Pulling my books tighter to my chest as I got lost in my thoughts. His words playing over and over again in my head.

Pathetic.

Weak.

You wanted it.

It's your fault.

You begged for it.

I would do it all over again.

Walking down the halls in the quiet only made the thoughts in my head seem louder. When I reach the common room doors, I whispered the password and slipped in. Luckily, no one was back from dinner yet. So I made my way up to my dorm and got ready for bed. My stomach growling for food as I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. I pushed the thought aside and when to take a nice, warm shower.

As the water ran I looked at myself in the mirror. All I saw were the marks that used to be on my body because of him. The fact that I had to hide underneath wool clothing in the dead heat of the summer so my father wouldn't know, pained me.

It was never going to happen again.

I pulled back the curtain and hopped in the shower. Washing my hair and my body, cleaning myself before I went to bed. Washing way the conversation I just had with Bryce. Washing away his touch. Washing away the pain, the control, the manipulation. Never able to wash away the incident.

I stood there in the shower, closing my eyes and thinking happy thoughts. My mind taking me back to last summer at the Burrow.

Fred, George, and I had snuck out to watch the sunrise in the morning while I was at the Burrow, a few days before my 4th year started and their 5th year. All three of us running out of the house before Molly could wake up to catch us. Knowing we would be in trouble since the twins had lit fireworks off in Percy's room just the night before. As we ran I fell behind the boys. I cursed them for their long legs and athletic abilities. The three of us giggling as they lead me to the spot on top of the hill, just a few miles away from the Burrow, where you could see the sun peak over and the new daylight hit the calm lake water. As we sat at the top of the hill in the darkness of the morning. The three of us were as quiet as ever. Especially Fred. No one saying anything as the sky changed colors. Watching a new day begin. Taking it all in before we had to go back to the craziness of Hogwarts.

It was the most breathtaking and beautiful thing I had ever seen. Imagining myself running down the hill and into the lake water and swimming in the cold. Laying in the water as the sun's heat took over warming my senses.

Once the thought had washed over me, I hoped my eyes. Feeling much better after thinking of the memory with the twins. Feeling somewhat refreshed and ready for bed.