One Shots and other things

(All male)

Four: What are you guys doing?

Patch: We're trying to see who's the biggest simp out of all of us. So far we're down to Percy, Callum, Peeta, and Cal.

Cal: I should have been out already. I kissed her when she was still engaged.

Four: Oh that's easy. Peeta.

Peeta: I am not! It's called respect.

Jace: That's a fancy way of saying, simp.

Percy: Says Mister "I love you til the day you die" or some bull.

Jace: And I said it even though circumstances says otherwise. So that doesn't earn me the title.

Maxon: No, that just shows that you were in love with her despite your other title.

Jace: It's not simping, Princey. It's called setting goals.

Percy: I went to school with ADHD and dyslexia, and even I know that's not what it is.

Maxon: You proclaimed your love and yet you did nothing to make a move on her. That's a simp.

Patch: And now we're up to five.

Four: Guys, guys. It's Peeta.

Peeta: I am NOT A SIMP!

Percy: You are the blueprint of a simp.

Callum: I'm basically you, but sarcastic and witty. I'm a simp, so you're the bigger simp.

Cal: Call it what you will, but you're a baker. You did everything you could to keep your little crush alive.

Peeta: Correction, I have a loving family with her as my wife.

Cal: And you suffer from psychological trauma which was caused by her. You willingly put your life on the line just so she could make it to her home safely and love another guy. That, my friend, is a simp.

Peeta: You did all of those things too.

Maven: You basically said what you did for your own little crush, brother.

Cal: I get a free pass, because if you ask everyone that knows and loves me, I chose the crown over the girl, after I finally got her back. I'm not that much of a simp.

Maxon: You offered her everything she could have asked for with that crown.

Aspen: If memory serves correctly, you did the same thing.

Maxon: I already had the crown on my head and I got to keep it, thank you very much.

Aspen: But you took your time with her, letting her lead you on until the very last minute.

Maven: No, when he found out she loved another man as well as him he decided to marry the other girl.

Aspen: So she could live freely with the man he thought she loved.

Maxon: No, that wasn't what I had in mind. You know, Peeta would have had that mindset.

Peeta: For the last time, it's called RESPECT!

Percy: Ah ah AAAAHHHHHSHIMP! Woo, pardon my sneezing.

Peeta: Well if I'm a simp, what does make Kilorn?

Kilorn: Friend-zoned. Don't try with Gale, he admitted his love when you were supposed to be married to Katniss.

Peeta: But Mare dragged you along to everything!

Kilorn: I'm her best friend, Bread Boy.

Patch: And now we're down to two.

Peeta: You basically did everything I did—

Kilorn: And I will continue to do those things as her best friend who happens to be a happily married man and the premier of an entire country—on my own. I didn't do it for a woman.

Cal: Mare pushed you to become—

Kilorn: It's not the same.

Patch: It's settled! Peeta is the biggest simp out of all of us.

Peeta: I give up.