I'm Fine - Nouis fanfiction

Chapter 15

Niall POV:

It'd been three weeks since he decided to live. It'd been two weeks and five days since he felt like he regretted the decision. It'd been two weeks and five days since he was dragged away. It'd been two weeks and five days since he was sent to a mental hospital.

It was 6 am. He lied awake in his tiny bed, underneath the salmon covers, his neck sore since sleeping on one pillow, and on a bed that seem to be made of rock, was not something he was used to. His sleep medication was starting to wear off as sunlight pours in through the window, lighting up the whole room.

He stared back at the white ceiling above him. From the first glance he would assumed that it was perfectly perfect, yet the more he looked at it, the more he saw the slight imperfections; from the uneven paint on it to cracks that liter its surface. He found it odd that he could relate to it.

A soft snore escaped the lips of his roommate as she muttered to herself in her sleep. The sound of the nurses chattering quietly outside his room and phone ringing down the corridor filled his eardrums. He was used to it now, kind of, and almost found comfort in those simple sounds.

He laid there, partly because his body refused to let him sleep and partly because he don't want to sleep, especially after the nightmare he had, that he couldn't quite remember, yet the heaviness in his heart still remained. He wrapped the navy blue blanket around him, making himself his own little bubble, away from everything.

The next thing he knew it was 7:00 am. He was startled out of his zone by a nurse banging on the bedroom door, informing him and his roommate that they must be down for breakfast in thirty minutes. He groaned as he dragged his body up from bed to start the day.

It's not as if the place wasn't helping him. It was; because of it, he was now two weeks clean. Although it was a hard process both physically and emotionally, he pulled through. The problem wasn't that. 

The problem was that he missed home. He missed the boys. Sure, they would come visit about three times every week or sent daily texts to him but it wasn't the same. He hated how Liam looked at him with guilt shinning in his eyes, he hated how Harry looked as if he was about to cry any second and he hated how Zayn looked at him like everything that happened was his fault, even though they tried to hide it and  pretend like everything was fine, he could tell and he hated it; but what he hated most was Louis. 

He doesn't hate Louis, of course not, what he hated was his relationship with Louis. When he came to visit him for the first time at the end of his first week, it was awkward. Niall couldn't read the expression that was written on Louis' face. He felt like it was changing every second, from guilt to sadness to relief. In the 30 minutes of visiting time, none of them spoke a word. They just sat there inside the room of silence that holds tension as sharp as knife. A mute could tell that they had so much to say, yet they remained silent...

Niall shook the thoughts away before focusing back to what Dr. James, his personal  psychiatrist, was saying. Today they were discussing about his thoughts from last night, where he felt a burning sensation in his mind, telling him that he needs to be punished. It wasn't an easy topic for him and a few tears were shed doing the session. Afterwards he was allowed to use his phone for 10 minutes with strict supervision. He wasn't allowed to use any social media apps or internet in general, except for chatting with his friends and family, which was understandable. He couldn't even begin to imagine what the headlines would look like.

"Niall Horan from one direction sent to a nut house" 

"Have Niall Horan lost his mind?" 

It would probably be along those lines, he thought, or worse. 

Before he knew it, it was 4 pm. Visitation hours.