This is a little different but i felt like changing it up a little. I needed to show some progress but I didn't want to do a chapter because Emmy doesn't really see anyone this week and I didn't want to write something boring. So-
Welcome to Emersyn's journal. I hope you enjoy.
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Mum's taking me through her self-help cycle. I've never does it properly with her before. But I decided if I was going to get myself back together again then I would put my all into it. And I would record the process. To look back on.
Food diaries are a bad idea because it makes me want to count calories. But I won't.
Day One: Sensory.
When I feel stressed and need a calm mind, Mum said I should try and focus on the sensations around me—sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touch. Apparently this will help me focus on the present moment, giving me a break from my worries.
Breathe in fresh air.Listen to running water.Take a hot shower or a warm bath.Burn a scented candle.Wiggle your bare feet in overgrown grass.Stare up at the sky.Lie down where the afternoon sun streams in a window.Listen to music.Sit outdoors by a fire pit, watching the flames and listening to the night sounds.
So I spent the day working through some of these with mum.
Two positives and a Negative.
✓We sat outside all evening and the sunset was beautiful and dad made a fire and we all snuggled up and talked for hours. Dad made s'mores.
✓ My heart relaxed for the first time in what feels like a while today. I could breathe deeply.
✖ It's hard trying to get people to let me breathe. Luella and Henry keep messaging me, Rayne and Jude as well as the other two passed on their worries. I just need a minute. I just need to breathe and sort myself back out.
I miss myself. I miss being bright light. But well I read today. "Sunshine all the time makes a desert." And I remembered that it is storms which make roots deepen, the rain that creates growth.
I can figure this out.
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