Dealing with Ourselves : Fred Weasley

4

     The rest of the day I don't say hardly anything. I don't feel like I can keep myself together long enough to hold a proper conversation. I keep thinking about what Versace said and Cedric and my parents. 
     I can tell that my parents look like they have had enough of me not being happy and chipper. Mazy at one point even said that they are mad at me when they weren't listening. When they said that we are having a talk after dinner I knew I was getting an earful later. 
     I try not to think about it because thinking about it makes me mad. And when they talk I want to seem as calm and passive as I can. Though I don't know if I will be able to do that. I actually know I won't be able to, but I will still try. 
     When we get back to the hotel after dinner Von, Mazy, and Terra go to the other room and put on a movie while I go and sit with my parents in their room. They both have a tired and irritated look. They sit on the bed and I sit in the chair. 
     "Charlie, I know you are going through something, but we are trying to help you," my mom says softly. "We know how it feels to lose someone close to you so suddenly and horribly. But you need to try to get better," my father says. 
     "I am trying," I say, it comes out harder than I meant it too. "We don't think you are. It doesn't seem like you are trying," my father says. "I am trying. It would just be easier for me if I could cope in my own way," I say quickly. 
     "What way is that?" my mother asks. "In my room alone. Or with my friends."  "We brought you along so you could get your mind off everything and try to clear your mind," my mom says. "Well, it is doing the exact opposite. All I can think about is how Cedric was supposed to be here with us and he can't now because he was murdered," I say sharply. 
     "Don't talk to us that way Charlie," my father says sharply. "We are just trying to help you," my mom adds. "Your mother and I think it is a good idea for you to start therapy when we get back," my father says with a nod. 
     "I'm not going to talk to someone about my life when I can't even tell them about my life," I say with a stiff laugh. "Darling it might help you," My mother says. "Don't call me darling I'm not your darling. Von, Mazy and your new baby are your darlings. I'm just someone you paid to have stolen," I say harshly. They both have a shocked look on their face. 
     "Charlie, what are you talking about?" My mom asks sounding angry now. "You know exactly what I am talking about," I say while standing up. "Charlie, you have to understand-"  "That's not even my real name. Danielle is my real name. Did you just not like it or did you have guilt every time you heard it?" It all comes out harsher than it sounds in my head. |
     "Charlie calm down!" my father yells. "No! You know what? I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore," I say, tears welling up in my eyes. I walk to my room and throw all my stuff in my bag and walk out. Von follows. 
     "What do you mean leaving?" My mom asks quickly. "She isn't going anywhere," my father says sternly. "Bullshit I'm not!"  "You don't have any money for a plane ticket," Von adds quicky. "I will call you in as a runaway!" my father yells. "I am 17! For my community, I am legal age!" 
     "You still haven't any money," my mom says, tears streaming down her face. "I don't need money. I will write you when I calm down," I say while picking up my bag and getting my wand out. As soon as I step into the bathroom and close the door I disapparate to my room. Once I am in my room I drop my bag and fall to the floor in tears. 

     After a few hours of sitting on my floor crying, I go downstairs and call my parents. My mom answers the phone. She sounds angry but she sounds more hurt than anything. I tell her that I am safe and that I won't be here when they get back. I tell them I hope they have a good trip then hang up. 
     I take a long hot shower and get a small bowl of cereal. I spend a lot of time looking at the wilting flowers on the kitchen windowsill. My mom meant to throw them away before we left. She must have forgotten to. I walk over and pick u the flowers and toss them in the bin then wash the vase and put it away. 
     I quickly scribble three identical letters to Sirius, Fred and Reno to tell them I'm no longer in France and that I am back home if they want to talk to me. 
     I then find Pebbles and go back up to my room and lay in bed with him and cuddle and talk to him. My mom was right about that. He does make me feel better. He makes me feel less alone. I feel like I could tell him anything and he would still love me as long as I gave him food and love. I tell him everything. And he keeps purring while I scratch his head. After a while, we both fall asleep there.