ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ || ᴀʙᴜsɪᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴡᴋs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

chapter 17~ ive given up

tw suicide ⚠️

  "i don't want to do this anymore"  you say as your walking in the cold weather. it's raining.. no, pouring. you dressed up today, for an occasion. don't know if it's special, but it's an occasion. today.. you were going to

...end your life

   you see blood washing away from your shoulders where hawks clawed you. you feel your mascara and eyeliner run down your cheeks. not only from the rain, but from your tears too.

  pain. pain is all you felt. you were numb. you were tired of being hurt. even if it meant that hawks loves you. it still hurt. you couldn't take it anymore, and while you were laying on the floor.. you decided that you were gonna end this misery

  today..

 
  your bruises, your scars, your cuts.. they were from your boyfriend. the one that's supposed to love you and comfort you. the one that you were supposed to live the rest of your life with. the one you were supposed to marry and have kids with. even if you didn't want to.

  you've given up. this was all meaningless. who knew that meeting hawks would lead you to want to die. he loves you though.

i give up

i give up

i give up

  those words.. repeating. over and over and over. your hair is wet. your clothes are soaked. your makeup was ruined. walking. walking and walking. farther and farther away from your apartment. all of these memories you shared. with hawks, aizawa, mirko... they'll all be gone in a matter of seconds. soon you find yourself on train tracks. abandoned? no.

    "a train should be coming soon... it'll all be over (y/n). all the pain will be gone. soon." you say to yourself. "w-why is it still raining. this is supposed to be a happy ending. where is the rainbow at the end of the path. why is it so dark. rainy. cloudy. foggy." you say to yourself, again.

 
   next thing you know, you start hearing dinging. they sound like bells. the bells you hear when a train is about to pass. the dinging was faint, but it was getting louder.. louder.. louder.

  "so.. this really is the end. goodbye aizawa. goodbye mirko. goodbye.. keigo. i love you, always." you whisper to yourself as the train gets closer to you.

  you lay on your back and accept the fact that everything you've done was gone to waste. you turn to your side and see the train from a distance. you close your eyes and let death arrive.

goodbye...

   you feel a scarf wrap around your body and snatch you out of the train's path. you look over at the man who just saved you. "(y/n)? w-why?" aizawa says. you stare at him with tears in your eyes and he pulls your into a tight hug. "i-i'm sorry i disappointed everyone. i've given up. i- i don't want to live anymore. aizawa please, please put me out of my misery" you pull out of the hug and drop to the floor.

     aizawa actually looks concerned for you. he was one of your favorite teachers when you attended ua. he helped you control your quirk when evil spirits tried to interfere with your work. he helped you become stronger.

strength..

something you needed to
stay alive

   "(y/n)... why would you try to do this. people care about you. people love you" aizawa says. "i'm so sorry, eraser. i failed." you say while crying. "please, call me aizawa" he wipes the tears off your face and pulls you into another hug. "i'll take you home, (y/n) just promise me you won't try this ever again" aizawa says. you sob into his chest and allow him to escort you home.

..home

"i love it, i hate it
and i can't..
..take it"

time stamp: 2:39- 2:45
"back to you"
louis tomlinson
ft bebe rexha

a/n
heyyyy i really recommend you to listen to the song if you haven't already. i added some rain sound affects to listen to :)

stay safe 💜