ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ || ᴀʙᴜsɪᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴡᴋs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

chapter 12~ he loves me, he loves me not

a/n
i probably won't be consistently posting chapters because of the holidays
so if this is the last chapter i post until after christmas thennn happy holidays!

𝚢/𝚗'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟.

who the hell could've done this? why? why the fuck would anyone do this to MY best friend. she's everything to me. does someone really envy me that much to the point where they try to take away the one i love most? it couldn't be aizawa, it can't be hawks.. could it be hawks? if it was, it was for a good reason, right? he wouldn't.. he loves me. he even said it! i believe him. anything he says i should believe. what kind of girlfriend/boyfriend would i be if i didn't believe my own lover? that would be terrible.
should i have seen mirko earlier?

is she hurt because of me?

why didn't i see her earlier

it's my fault.

i'm so sorry, Rumi.

"i'm sorry, (y/n)" hawks says while looking down at his feet. "huh? is something the matter?" you say in a worried tone. "i did it. i hurt mirko" keigo replies.
your heart drops to your stomach and you collapse on the floor and start sobbing. "w-why the fuck would you EVER do something like that? i- love her, keigo! you can't just push everyone away from me. y-you're a monster! why? just why?!" you shout and punch the floor underneath you

  Keigo's mood changed from worried and upset to angry and.. evil.
hawks lifts you by your hair and says in your ear "do you love mirko more than you love me?" he then drops you on the tile floor "i only did this because i wanted to spend more time with you. i want to be with you forever. it's because i love you, (y/n)." he says while helping you back up and pecks your forehead. he wipes your tears away and smiles.

i believe him

why wouldn't i?

he's my boyfriend. he's doing it for my benefit, right?

he loves me. he told me.

keigo pulls you into a hug and strokes your hair. "i adore you, (y/n). anything that i do will benefit the both of us. i'm doing it for you... for us. please believe me. i need you." you believed him

unfortunately. you were so blinded. since you've never been in a relationship before, you thought this behavior was normal.

... But hawks loves you
just a tad too much...

you continue to cry onto his shoulder. it was comforting but you were also disgusted by the fact that he would do such a thing.
should i kill him?
i said i would...
NO
no stop thinking like that you fucking dumbass
i can't kill my own boyfriend
...but he hurt mirko
no. he did it because he loves me.

"i love you, keigo. but please don't hurt any else i love.." you say, still shaken. "if you tell anyone about this, then i have no choice. i may have to hurt you if you don't keep your mouth shut" he says. you start crying even more, but this is normal, right?

No the fuck it isn't.

a little later, hawks leaves your place, leaving you by yourself. you stare blankly at the ceiling. "i can't tell anyone, he'll hurt me. he'll hurt my loved ones even more. all because he.. loves me" you think to yourself. "i want to be with keigo forever. he's my everything."

was he really, though?

or were you just contradicting yourself?