UNDER 168 HOURS [BOOK 1, 168 HOURS SERIES]

Chapter 68: Insight

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As we all know, Zainab is a 10 year old in J.S.S 1. She didn't try particularly in her education, especially now that she knew what was living inside of her - a deadly virus that doesn't have a cure. HIV or AIDS, what difference does it makes anyway? It's no use taking medications or seeking advice from anyone. Her death is already close anyways, and she could feel it.

All Zainab would do is to cry all night. It started affecting her performance in school. Although, she didn’t try particularly hard, but what she started doing in school was just  to all her classes and paid no attention.

Being smart, it meant Zainab got good grades with minimal effort but now, things changed.

On the other hand, Zainab had a great group of friends too: kids she grew up with, that she had known nearly all her life. They would hang out every then but since Zainab had been promoted from basic 5 to J.S.S 1, she really has no friends like such. Except for Idris that would always sit by her side and cheer her up during break time.

Meanwhile, others would hang out during weekend, have pool parties and go to eat and play with each other, for food. Zainab thought they were way cooler than she and Idris actually was. It was  heart breaking but despite the fact that Idris was the headmaster's son, he didn't have much friends like that. It was more comfortable for him to sit and chat with Zainab.

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Zainab's P.O.V

'Ever since I moved in with the Bala's,  just before write my entrance examination and got into high school, and everything changed. Overnight, I have no friends, was in a new street where everyone was different and was living in a cramped apartment with my mother, my sister and two cousins. I remember feeling really messed up inside: I think I was too much in shock to be upset about it at first.

Distractions

While trying to adapt to my new surroundings, I also started secondary school. It turns out that living alone, with my sister was paradise compared to living with my new family. A family that doesn't even consider me their own. I'm only staying here because of Humaira. I don't want to cause her more troubles and worries. Perhaps, she's been through a lot. And it's all my fault she's in that position today. I just wish things would get better. But for her sake, I'll stay with the Bala's until she graduates. It would all be over by then. It's been nine months now but it's already looking like I've known them even since I was born. And right now, I just want to breakfree...'

Zainab has been very popular since primary school. She was too till now but ever since she heard about her virsus, she has stopped being the Zainab everyone knew her to be.

Soon, she started underperforming across the board: one thing Zainab was sure of was that, if she wasn’t failing, I was barely passing. She tried so hard, but it just wasn’t working. Zainab studied a lot, but then she got to the exam, and would get so nervous, she felt like her mind would go blank.
'All that effort, and she failed anyway. So what was the point? Zainab is ashamed to admit it to the world and she slowly and gradually gave up, and turned to the only thing I knew hadn’t changed: her Qur'an.

All Zainab did, every day after school, was reciting the holy book. Sometimes, it made her comfortable, feeling better while other times. She breaks down in uncontrollable tears and stop thinking. The Quran was the only gift her mum had left for her. And luckily enough, she had brought it along with her.  The Quran was her only real companion, and you know what? It never let her down.

Going through a tough time

Sometimes around four months into school, Zainab realized something: everything and everyone sucked. She was angry all the time, and when she wasn’t angry, she was sad. Later on, as an adolescent, Zainab would recognize my symptoms as depression. But at the time, she didn’t know any better. Zainab thought everyone else was either rude or stupid, and she wanted no part of them.