ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 31 - PART 2

I feel like I'm obsessed with spending time with Damien. My mind is constantly buzzing, ticking like a bomb; and the subsequent roaring in my ears is driving me insane. I'm constantly thinking about what I have to do next, or rather (and worse), the meaningless, nihilistic future that I feel like I don't have. Did I ever? Or, did I mess all of it up? Why is Damien the cure to that madness; the one who can make me calm? Why does it have to be him.

I accidentally knock over my water bottle and chew my tropical Trident gum so hard that I feel like I'm grinding my teeth together. Feeling cheeky, I text Damien, "I spilled water all over my bed, can I sleep in yours?" I throw my phone down, and my eyes unfocus until I feel like I'm staring into nothing. 

My phone vibrates. "Come over!! =)" I smile and pack my bag.

I curl into Damien and I feel perfectly at peace despite how I know that I won't get any sleep tonight. I can't rest at all when I'm in someone else's bed or house. I'm just too used to being alone; sleeping alone. Being able to commandeer an entire bed, and toss and turn throughout the night; changing positions all night. But, it is worth it to be with him. I stare at his perfectly long, curling lashes, and trace my finger against his sharp cheekbones and jawline. 

He murmurs, "Why do you always stare at me like that," and smirks, with his eyes closed.

"How do I know I'm staring?" I feel like I sound manic; pretending at being innocuous.

"I'm tired; let's go to sleep. I sleep better when you're here with me." He fervently kisses me, and fucking fireworks explode in my overworked mind, and he is all that I think about. I feel like I will love him forever, but will he love me the same?

Somehow, I've finally fallen asleep, but I awake to the exact sound that the girl makes in The Grudge.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH." Damien is sitting up next to me and staring straight, blankly, at the wall. His eyes appear to be pure black; and his once enigmatic, mischievous blackened pupils are now glazed over and sinister. His mouth is wide open, and the sound of his jaw clicking open to become even more unhinged, rings and oscillates off the corners of my mind; along with that evil sound.

"Damien." I laugh, nervously, and think to myself that this is just karma from scaring my friends with this trick at the swimming pool, when I would emerge from underwater with my hair over my face, and unhinge my jaw all of the way open to make that grating noise, deep from the bottom of my throat. My ex-boyfriend and I would prank each other, and our friends by calling and just creating that exact sound, then hang up and pretend like we didn't know what our friends were going on about, and then we would laugh, and admit that it was just a joke.

The guttural grinding, scraping sound continues, and it seems to be getting louder and louder.

"Damien, stop; you're scaring me!" I smile weakly, and this feels surreal. Chills run throughout my entire body, and my nerve endings feel like puncturing needles that could break through my own skin.

Damien slowly swivels his head towards me, and my stomach drops. I'm going to throw up. I have never been so scared in my entire life. He looks like he doesn't even know me, nor does he know himself.

He looks possessed.

"DAMIEN, STOP. THIS ISN'T FUNNY."

I pause and swallow the rising acid down. "IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY." I can hear my heart pounding.

The sound continues; and it is jarring, rasping, and I wonder how his mother doesn't hear this sound just on the other side of the wall; or is she even home? Am I all alone with him? I pray to God to please make it stop, and ask why am I being subjected to this?!

I hit his arm and shove him, but he is like a block of cement. I scream in his face. "STOP! I love you, but please stop, Damien, please!" I throw water on him, and I flip on the light.

I feel indignant, foolish and stupid. I should've just stayed home. I vow to never sleep next to him again, and it makes me deeply, hollowed-out sad. An incurable, bleak sadness that I can't believe I can even feel through the wild frightened experience of feeling like I am face to face with the devil, or evil itself.

He unnaturally flops onto the bed backwards, with the blankest expression still, and it is like it never even happened.

My skin is fucking crawling. I have an acidic taste in my mouth, and I still feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm shaking, and I still feel the needling chills and goosebumps running up and down my entire body. I want to leave immediately, but the nagging part of me wants to stick around and find out what happened. Insanely, I laugh to myself that curiosity really could kill. 

I can barely sleep and I'm nearly hanging onto the edge of the bed as I don't want to be anywhere near him. I scroll aimlessly through my phone, then cautiously stare at him as if I'm making sure that it doesn't happen again, then I repeat. As if I could stop it from happening again.

The next morning, Damien wakes up and curiously looks at me. "What're you doing all of the way over there?" He reaches out to me, to pull me close, but I squirm away. "Why am I wet?"

I think to myself, that's what she said, then I shake my head, and wonder why do I always think of the most inappropriate thing to say.
"What was that last night?! You were, like, possessed."

"What? What are you talking about, Skye? Ugh. What time is it?" He runs a hand over his perfect face, even though he just woke up. I feel like I look withered and terrible. "I'm going to the bathroom."

I scoff. Of course, he would minimize and disregard what I'm saying, as usual. I pack up my stuff, and I'm ready to leave when he returns.

"You're going?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll walk you out, then, I guess," and he mirthlessly chuckles to himself.

I throw my bag into my car and he hands my pillow to me, which I place into the trunk. After closing it, he pins me to my car, and both of his long, languid legs stand on either side of me.

"I was really scared last night."

"I'm sorry. I don't remember what happened."

I kiss him and I wish, desperately and longingly, that I didn't have to leave. I don't want to go home at all. I don't want to be without him. I can't be with him. Why is all of this so confusing?