ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 31

Despite everything that has happened, being with Damien feels natural and right, like we are meant to be together forever - or, maybe I'm just delusional.

Damien finally accepts a job that his father procured for him as a security guard at the mall. He despises the position and hates that he had to go to his father for help. I feel like his discontentment with this job will sink him further into an alcoholic and drug-fueled depression, that I don't know if I will be able to pull him out of. I think that he should just take out a federal loan and finish school, but I can't tell him what to do with his life. With his model-like looks, the uniform looks surprisingly overtly sexual in an authoritative, domineering, and slightly terrifying way. It is intimidating, and I stare at him, as I fantasize about how this seems like an opening to a porn flick.

"What?" Damien commands as he slides into my passenger seat.

"Um, nothing," I kiss him hello and pull him towards me, as he grins against my mouth. I wish that he didn't have to go to work, and we could spend the afternoon together. Lately, I've been driving him to work every day for his 3 PM - 11 PM shift, and it is actually starting to negatively affect my grades. I should be earning an easy "A" in my American Lit class, but I've only got a "B-" that I'm barely hanging onto. By the time I get home at about 11:45 PM, I'm exhausted, but I don't get to sleep until 1 AM due to my extensive before-bed routine (skincare maintenance; brushing teeth; removing contacts, etc). Then, I wake up at 5 AM and start the day all over again. For the first time in my life, I haven't even read the required novel, To Kill A Mockingbird, and I had to write an entire essay based off of Spark Notes and Wikipedia. My parents are outraged, to say the least, and they don't want me to drive Damien to work anymore, because they think that I'm messing up my future. It feels like I can't focus on anything but Damien, though. Even when my mind is supposed to be on my schoolwork, my thoughts are drifting waywardly to him, always. The upside is that he is helping me with my Intro to Philosophy class, but again, I'm barely holding onto a "B" in that class, as well.

The next day, I'm vastly sleep-deprived, and the traffic is exceedingly jam packed, as they have narrowed the two lanes of Route 1 down to one single lane from College Park to Ellicott City, that I forget to text Damien when I'm nearby. Miraculously, I pull up outside of his apartment at exactly 2:25 PM, which still leaves more than enough time to drop him off at the mall, which is only 15-20 minutes away. I call him and he sounds sheepish.

"Hey Skye... um, so I already called Bianca for a ride, since you didn't text me back... but, I'll be out soon. She said that she might be late getting here, anyways, 'cause she had to get ready and put on make-up for me."

My mouth drops. I thought that he said that he was done talking to her. And, what does he mean by, "put on make-up for me"?! I wish that this girl would find a hobby, job, or even another boy to obsess over, rather than one that I thought was already taken by me, but I may be hopelessly, delusionally wrong. It is so incredibly sexist for men to think that women solely want to look nice for them, and girls like her further cement that when they say things like that. I feel like she is personally setting back the female race by decades, but both of them are to blame in this.

"You... you called BIANCA?!" My voice raises up at the end.

Damien is skipping over multiple steps with his long, languid legs, and holding his phone to his ear, as he gets closer to my car, as if he is worried that I may just drive away without him. "Sorry, babe..."

He plops his backpack down and sits in the passenger seat of my car, all the while looking at me with a nervously scared demeanor, as if he thinks that I may tell him to get out of the car, and/or order him to never speak to me, again. Maybe I should.