ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 20

READER WARNING: THERE MAY BE UNSUITABLE CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER FOR THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, AND/OR ANYONE TRIGGERED BY SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE.

    The next day, unbelievably, Damien texts me as if he didn't completely ditch me last night.

Damien: so what did you do last night?

I think to myself, I mistakenly waited around for your stoner, alcoholic ass to let me down, again, and I'm not even surprised.

Me: Justin & I just watched music videos & hung out - you never texted me back

Damien: it's not like we had plans

Me: whatever. who were you with, anyways?

Damien: Toni, Travi, Scarlett, etc

Of course, he was with them. I have this feeling that Toni and him hooked up, because of how Justin noticed earlier that both of their Facebook statuses are basically the same. Both of them are worded like, "when you're too drunk to fuck," or something like that, so I feel like something happened, but Damien will never actually tell me the complete truth. I hear my dad talking to my mom about when Justin will be moving out, or at least when he will get a proper job.

Damien: I have to do a return, do you want to go to the mall with me?

I don't really want to spend any time with Damien's two-faced, stoner, alcoholic, and confusing personality, but I do want to know if Toni and him actually hooked up. I sigh.

Me: I have to drop Justin at Jace's dorm, then I'll pick you up

Later, as Damien hands over the pair of Converse sneakers that he is returning to Journey's, the employee asks for his license. Damien gets distracted and starts looking at the random Supreme merchandise locked in a case by the register, so I take the opportunity to accept the license back from the employee to read what his middle name is, since he is so protective of the simplest, most basic information. All of a sudden, he turns around and rips the license from my hands and shoves it back into his wallet. "Skye! I know what you're trying to find out, and you won't!" I pull as hard as I can onto the large, overstuffed wallet, and it falls onto the floor, along with the pictures that he had pushed into it. The Journey's employee looks bewildered and almost like they are about to laugh, or call for security. "Your middle name is James?" I pause and pick up a picture from the floor of Bianca. "Why are you so ashamed of that, and why do you have a picture of your supposedly heroin-addicted, stripper ex-girlfriend?"

Damien realizes that we have a whole audience in the Journey's store of employees and customers staring at our theatrics, and he mutters, resigned, "I hate it because it's my dad's name, and the picture isn't a big deal. Drop it, Skye," with a final, short and exasperated tone. I feel incredibly frustrated and annoyed about his consistent obsession with his ex-girlfriend, and how he treats me is unacceptable.

Am I in love with him, or the possibility of who he could be? I feel like once again, I don't even know him, because I don't know much about his family, or their history, or the inferred drama with his dad.

We walk out of the Journey's store, and I turn to look up at him. "I feel like I don't really know you..." My voice trails off.

"What do you want to know?"

"Um, why you're still so obsessed with your ex-girlfriend... why you ditched me last night.... if you hooked up with Toni... why you hung out with them when you kind of told me that you were done with them... why you want to play games with me. What happened with your dad. What are you planning to do with your life?"

At the end of my diatribe, I silently add in my head, and how do you feel about me?

Damien looks overwhelmed, and I nearly regret expressing all of my confusion, but I don't, because I deserve to know. He keeps pulling me into the mess that composes his life, and expecting me not to have any reservations, or say anything about his mistreatment and odd behavior. "What's your middle name?"