My Crazy Nerd (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 40: Pain

Chapter 40: Pain

Altschmerz.

A strange word, I know.

In the most simplest definition, it means "old pain."

Altschmerz.

Old pain.

It wasn't what I was feeling, however. Quite the opposite, in fact. There was nothing painful about the approval my mother gave to me on going to the party today and this was certainly new, too. Whether a benevolent entity had possessed her or my ears were clogged with some word altering device, either one of the two would have made more sense to me.

"Excuse me, could you repeat that again?" I asked with immense bafflement.

Mother sighed what would have said, "you're being ridiculous," if it were expressed with words.

"You. May. Go," she slowly repeated for my sake. "Audrey's with you, so it should be fine. I'll even drop you girls off today."

Seldom does my mother let me go anywhere unless I was with June or Alleny. That's never stopped me before, but still.

"What about my sprained toe?"

"Even better," she noted with absolute cruelty, malice and a sparkly sprinkle of depravity. Look at her. She's plotting for my demise. "It'll slow you down if you ever start to do something illegal, like destroying their property."

Now why on Earth would I do that?

For whatever reason she had for her leniency, I went to behold Audrey with this miraculous news.

"Really?" she balked. "Even after you broke your blondie's window last month?" Right. Alleny's Halloween party.

"It's a bummer, too" I sighed, swinging my legs in the air as I laid flat on my stomach on my bed. "I was looking forward to sneaking out through my window."

There was a small lift in the corner of her lips and she opened her drawer. "No one's stopping you."

A tsunami poured from the sky yesterday.

It then froze from above and fell as a raging blizzard that soon dwindled into white, fragile flakes that descended daintly into a blanket of snow, piling almost a feet tall; it was a beautiful haven perfect for piercing my shovel into and digging the shaven diamonds away until the hard, frozen ground was exposed. Precious snow. Beautiful and cold. But maybe it wasn't snow that fell from the sky, maybe it were ashes--flesh scorched by the burst of flames, bleaching the crumbling remains white.

Cold ashes.

"Ugh, I hate snow," came a huff and I glanced away from my window to see Audrey's prominent scowl directed towards the descending crystals.

I gasped.

"You hate snow?" I spouted, genuinely offended. "Why?"

"Why? What do you mean, 'Why?'" She went through her clothes and pulled out a moss-colored snow jacket that had its rim of the hoodie covered in gray fluff. She slipped it on. "It's cold and wet and fucking cold," she grumbled and twisted her head to look at me, eyes squinting. "Have I mentioned it's cold?"

"You have. Three times."

"Exactly." She slipped on her gloves and an adorable blue beanie that adorned two fuzzy pompoms by her ears on her head. "Now get dressed. We have to go to my cousin's dumb party, soon."

"Soon" was in a couple hours, and there was a lot I could do within that time frame. I could reread some of my books, attempt and horribly fail at cooking--but eat it anyways--dig some holes, learn a new skill, clean my already-clean room, clean the bathroom, clean my hands, clean my shovel, smash a pot, ruin a photo, tear down a wall, destroy a table, shatter a glass, smash a skull, scratch my arms until it bleeds, ruin a life, or do another last hour research on every one of Audrey's ex-associates, especially her aunt.