Life through a string of kisses

Fling type things

Here she was back in the game. A single woman desperate to explore her sexuality and experience uni life properly. Except it had been two years since she was single and her youthful confidence was slightly surpresssed with cruel life experience.

Her friends had instantly encouraged nights out and make outs with strangers. But it suddenly seemed odd to kiss someone when you hadn't been on a date and learnt their values.  She wasn't as willing as she once was to give a kiss away to someone who shot a smile her way.

So when in a club in Essex on a girls holiday, she started chatting to a good looking guy about music. Dancing with him, she kept her arms to herself and when her friends dragged her out at the end of the night, they exchanged numbers. The next day the girls were mortified that the dancing pair hadn't kissed, and even more amused that he had asked her out on a date the next day.

Forced into agreeing, Rebecca meet him for hot chocolate while two of her friends hid at the back of the coffee shop, in a facade to keep her safe. They walked around Essex and then he walked her back to their airBnB. He was funny, charming, but came across as a little too "cool" for Rebecca.

They went their separate ways and texting slowly dried up as neither their hearts were in it.

Back at university she tried once again, to be free spirited and confident. She started going out with the basketball lads and ladies, after being friends already with two of them. She caught the attention of the president, Dylan, a known fuckboy that she was warned about. He was charming and she enjoyed the attention. While they spoke she warned him that she was not going to be "another notch in his belt", which he laughed off.

The two started meeting each week at the club, unplanned but pleasant all the same. For the first time ever, Rebecca was being approached by a confident guy who took control. Dylan would walk her home, she would invite him in for hot chocolate, they'd talk till dawn about movies and books they were reading, and then make out. He wanted her and she knew it, but she made sure he knew she wasn't ready to sleep with him.

It felt odd kissing someone that wasn't Adam. But Dylan was so contrastingly different. The breath of fresh air she needed. However, Rebecca was confused how he felt about her after going on one date together. He had seemed just as nervous as her, dressing up smart and messaging her on whether he should wear a blazer.

What had started off as fun and a bit of regular intimacy to fight off the loneliness of being a new singleton: was now messing with her head. She wanted to stay single, but she was starting to like this guy.

Rebecca was frustrated with herself, at enjoying his company more than she let on. She was determined not to be played. And so she asked him out on a movie date to which she was excited. It had gone well and at the end of the night they had gone their separate ways. The ball was in his court now, she decided, determined not to chase after anyone. She knew she was worth more than that, and if he couldn't see it, it was his loss. She got on with life and with no contact from him she freed herself of her feelings. Rebecca counted herself lucky that her feelings had dissipated, thinking about his smoking habit and sometimes self-centred conversation topics.