Life through a string of kisses

Trickles of doubt

Rebecca and Adam had been dating for a year and 10months.
They were both doing well in their respective degrees as well as making friends in different societies. All things considered things were going quite well.

Until one night, just as same as all the others, the trickle of doubt started out of nowhere. There was no cause. No big betrayal. But Rebecca had started to feel as though something wasn't quite right. There was something bugging her subconscious.
She started off labelling it as feeling closterphobic as Adam had been living with her, over the summer, while he tried to find a job in her home town. Then she blamed the heat of the weather, making her just want to be away from him.

Rebecca was plain and simply confused. She loved Adam. He was her best friend. He made her laugh. And she loved how he made her feel. But this reasoning didn't seem right at all. Maybe I should be in love with him, not just love him, she started to say to herself. Maybe I should love him as an individual more than I love how he makes me feel specifically? She wanted to explore her sexuality and try new things and she realised that she didn't like the idea of spending her whole university experience on one boy. But did she really want to breakup with him? They had had near on two wonderful years together, where he made her laugh and feel loved. Was she really feeling that bad that it had to be ended?

The doubts and incompatibility started piling up the closer she looked inward.
Does he have the same drive and work ethic as you?
Does he want to get the most out of life like you?
Is his backbone strong enough to fight you when you need fighting with?

And that was it. That was the final straw.

She was suddenly asking for a break to sort her head out. And after two weeks where she felt like shit but also felt free, she traveled to his home town to break up with him. They spoke in soft tones, while she cried and gave him back his jumpers. Adam even made her laugh slightly because that was his talent. He knew her so well and when she hugged him he felt like home. It felt like a mistake but she followed through breaking both their hearts.

Back at home she sobbed for the first time in her mother's arms, over a boy. How could something feel wrong but right at the same time? It just didn't seem possible.

The constant doubt over whether she was doing the right thing, was slightly settle over her mother saying:
"If you're meant to be today, you'll find your way back to one another, one day".
And that soothed Rebecca's soul ever so slightly.