Knight In Disguise

Forgiveness Part 2

Authors Note: Hello Lovelies this chapter has a trigger warning so read with caution, read with care. This chapter is kinda touchy and I'm sorry if it's bad so enjoy.

I had one person to apologize too. But I had a feeling he didn't really want to speak to me. Listen, I really need to apologize I'm sorry....I don't want it to end before it even starts. I reluctently hit the send button. "Please respond, please please please respond." I said holding my phone. Your right. I dont want this to end either, I'll see you later k I smiled. Ya, okay he responded perfectly. Okay. I smiled. I got up and stood in front of the mirror, "Maybe one or two wouldn't hurt." I headed to the bathroom. "Okay Sapphire not to deep and somewhere unnoticable." I grabbed my razor blade and slide it across my leg carefully. Bad habits, never change. I also decided to slice my wrist once. (4 years ago) "Meredith listen I didn't do anything." "Sure mhm." I had locked myself in the bathroom, I was lying in the bathtub. There were I think I remember the doctors saying 17 cuts on right arm, 10 on my left, 4 on my legs and 1 on my waist. I was bleeding out and I didn't mind. I turned the water on and let it rise up to my neck. I thought I could make it look like a accident, that I feel asleep and "accidently" drowned. I closed my eyes and layed in the tub. I remember looking up at the tiles on the celing and hearing my family try to open the door. Then I closed my eyes and when I woke up I was covered in bandages and stitches and I cried and screamed. I remember my mom holding me crying into my dads shoulder and saying "We didn't want to loss you honey, we couldn't let you go." And I threw my phone at the wall and sobbed, "I hate this, you were suppose to let me die, why couldn't you let me die. I want to die please, please let me die." (now) I shake the thoughts and wipe away the blood. I change into a sweater and yoga pants, "Hopefully this works." I hope you like movies! I smile, who doesn't like movies? I have no idea. I was sitting on the front steps when Luke arrived. I smiled and instantly hugged him. He hugged me tightly, "I missed you." he whispered. I held back tears, "Me too, I missed you too." I blinked them back. "Come on lets go, we have movies to watch and popcorn to eat." I grab his hand and walk with him. "Look who I brought." Luke exclaims when we walk through the door. "Sapphire!" Calum shouts. I smile, "Hey guys." I wave. Michael and Ashton embrace me and I hug them tightly. "I'm really sorry guys, I'm just new to this whole friend thing." I said. "It's okay we understand." Ashton says. "Well are we watching movies or not?" Michael asks. I sit down on a couch and Luke wraps his arm around me. About 45 minutes in I poke him and whisper, "Didn't you promise me popcorn?" He smiles, Come help me." I grab his hand and follow him towars the kitchen. I see the box on top of a cabniet. I hop on to the counter and reach up. "Sapphire." I laugh, "Hold on I almost got this." I grab the box. "Got it!" I exclaim. "Sapphire." I look at his face, "What's wrong?" I ask. He walks towards me and lifts a corner of my sweater, "How'd this happen?" I look away, "It's a scar from a long time ago." I breathe out. "Did you do this to yourself?" I look into his eyes and start crying. "When..my parents first started fighting I.....I cut myself daily I'm sorry." I say. "Do you have any more?" I wipe away tears, "Yeah." "Show me." I shake my head. "Sapphire please. Just show me please." I look at him and shake my head. "I can't I'm sorry."