Jikook: Marriage of Convenience

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The deafening silence surrounded Jungkook as he sat and waited. He blankly stares into nothingness, his limbs heavy, people are talking and crying around him, but he's unaware of it all. He's trying to connect with Jimin like you see in movies all the time. One lover telling the other to come back telepathically and they finally find themselves lost in each other's arms once again. Jungkook had that for a moment when he made love to his husband. Showering him with affection and love. Not only because he was an absolute ass, but he realized how bad he hurt his beautiful husband and how much he missed his best friend, the love of his life when Jimin left him. Jungkook wanted to show Jimin that he truly was in love with him, and he realized that Jimin had every right to leave him, but Jungkook didn't realize this until he saw a pool of Jimin's blood on their bathroom floor, a razor blade in the puddle and his small husbands wedding band covered in his own blood.

    Jungkook found his love again though. By chance or destiny.  He was shocked though, when he saw the bump of a baby- their baby- under Jimin's soft sweater. They created a child, surprisingly and miraculously. They made up, talked everything over, knowing the miscommunication and manipulations that surrounded them. People lied to keep them apart, either for their own selfish reasons (Lisa) or to protect them from the other (Jin). Whatever the reasons were a moot point now. Jimin gave birth, albeit a little early but the complications were severe.

     Jimin gave birth via C-Section due to pregnancy complications. But she was born, Jungkook felt a rush of love to the tiny human he and Jimin had created. In a fleeting moment, Jungkook's emotions went from pure love and bliss to terrified and despondent. The smile on his face fell to an open frown with additional tears the second he heard the heart monitor flat line and Jimin's hand went limp in his own.

     The medical staff reacted quickly, quicker than Jungkook could comprehend. He barely remembers hearing the doctor to get them out of the room, he didn't understand why they made him leave Jimin. He only heard them yell "CLEAR!" Several times before the door shut and Jungkook was struck with the worse pain he'd ever felt since his parents had died.

     Jungkook was in no position to talk to any of the doctors about Jimin or their baby. Jin was stronger and he knew more, probably more than Jungkook. This was his fault, Jungkook continued the mantra in his head. Jimin would still be...."Mr. Jeon?" A voice continued saying, "Mr. Jeon, I need to speak with you. About your daughter?" A slightly overweight woman with a soft happy glow was looking in his face, hands on his hands, shaking him lightly, pulling him back from his mind. He shook his head focusing on his eyes on the nurse in front of him. "I'm- I'm sorry, what?" The nurse smiled at him, he thought it was pity. She sat next to him pulling his body around, "Mr. Jeon, your daughter needs her father. She needs to feel she is loved," Jungkook looked at her dumbfounded. Jimin was the one who loved her the most. He couldn't..."a failure to thrive baby is one who doesn't feel like they have anything... or anyone to love for. So I need you to come with me. Now." This nurse was no bullshit. She gently took his wrist and lead him to the NICU, where he saw an incubator with the name, Baby Girl Jeon.

     As the nurse continued to talk and explain to Jungkook what he needed to do for his daughter, he watched as tiny hands and feet moved in the incubator. The nurse also dressed Jungkook in a gown, sterilized his hands, placed a mask on him and put surgical gloves on him. She did the same. "I'm going to show you what I need you to do, but you also have to talk to her," he looked at her listening but still a little spacey. "Have you thought of a name yet? That might help too. Later on after you acquaint yourself, I'm going to show you how to feed her." The nurse was seriously no joke. She didn't wait for an answer, she was ready to make sure father and daughter bonded and he took home a healthy baby.

     "I'm..." he paused, staring at the squirming baby in the incubator, and looked at the no nonsense nurse, "Areum." The nurse looked back, "pardon?" Jungkook repeated, "Areum, means beautiful in Korean. Her name," his eyes shimmering with tears. He named his daughter, breath shaking as he fought back tears looking at the tiny human who was part of him and part of his beloved. She had a sprinkle of jet black fluffy hair, inherited from both of them. Her skin was pale with splotches of pink as her breath was regulated by an oxygen tube. Jungkook continued to inspect her. Seeing her tiny pink lips, looking slightly oversized for an infant, she definitely inherited that from Jimin. Her cheeks were rosy with a button nose. Her eyes looked doe like, a trait from her daddy, Jungkook. She is the perfect combination of Jimin and Jungkook.

     The nurse broke Jungkook out of his trance looking at his daughter. She instructed him to put his hands inside the openings of the incubator. She showed him how to gently put his finger in her hand and gently talk to her so he had a connection. As he slowly followed instructions, he gently touched his newborn daughters right palm. She instinctively wrapped her entire tiny hand around his finger, melting her daddy's heart in the process. He only experienced true love once, with his beautiful husband; now with his heart aching, it swelled with so much love tears were falling from his eyes without thinking about it or trying to appear strong. He was weak for this little bundle of love he made with Jimin. He started speaking in Korean to her so she knew her native language first, "안녕, 아름다. 나는 너의 아버지이다." (Hi Beautiful. I'm your daddy.) Jungkook whispered as he caressed her tiny hand. Her soft cries disappeared as he softly sang to her. Jungkook's tears were mixed with gentle smiles looking at his and Jimin's baby girl.

     The nurse continued to instruct Jungkook on how to handle Areum. He finally was able to hold his daughter and urge her to eat. It took a few tries but she finally got the hang of it. His focus entirely on Areum so he wouldn't keep feeling guilty about her early birth or on Jimin's condition. Although he blocked it out as much as possible, his thoughts continued to linger on how much his daughter looked like Jimin. Well actually the perfect mix of them. As he fed her, talked to her softly about their lives, he always chocked up when talking about Jimin.

     Their friends had come by the NICU often to see how Jungkook was holding up. Jin was proud of how far Jungkook had come in such a short time. Jungkook had the nurse take so many pictures of Areum to send off to their friends, his grandfather, Jimin's parents. He explained everything to his grandfather and Jimin's parents. He took full responsibility for his actions, even though they all told him it wasn't his fault or Jimin's. They were thrilled to have a new addition to their family. Jungkook's grandfather made arrangements for him to stay in America as long as he needed/wanted to. And he also put other managers in charge of the new group so Jungkook could focus on his new baby and his friends could focus on everything else they needed to do to make sure everyone stayed healthy.

     Jungkook didn't think of anything but Areum and Jimin. Any other thoughts didn't matter right now.  He failed Jimin and vowed to never fail their daughter. As he fed Areum for the second time that day, while singing to her, she fell asleep in his arms. He was reluctant to put her back in the incubator but it was necessary. The nurse continued giving updates to their friends, letting them know when they would be able to visit in person. Jin watched through the window of the nursery as Jungkook put Areum to sleep and back into the incubator. For what it was worth jin was proud of how far Jungkook had come. His maturity exceeded what he believed would happen. He just wanted to see a true happy ending, they all deserved that.

     I bet you're all wondering what happened after Jimin flatlined huh? Hopefully the next chapter will help you out.
    
Happy New year everyone. Let's hope 2021 will bring us more happiness and health than 2020. Please stay safe💜💙💕