ONE-SHOTS (YouTubers x Reader) [BOOK 2]

A/n...Again...Sorry

So hey...First thing I'd like to say, I'm so sorry. I know my updates have been sparse and low effort, and I have requests to do and such, but I'll get there. The inspiration just isn't there. This note is about something else though.

I don't know how many of you watch the video above, (Jacksepticeye video titled: 2020 almost made me quit YouTube for those who can't see it), but a main topic in his video is the bad things that he's experienced this year, and how he's felt, and how he's feeling going onto the next year.

He says to focus on the good of the year, for the sake of mental health, but that's extremely hard. For me at least. I'm not sure what I consider good from this year. But I know we sure as hell have to try. Even if it's through a rant.

This year I:
Stopped eating the proper amount of food. I just haven't felt like eating, nor have I been hungry, but my body knows that it's obviously not getting proper nutrients, so now I always have headaches and nausea.

Have found myself nitpicking more flaws in myself. My looks, my body, my personality, my 'talents', my ability to do things I love.

Saw my all A grades have gone down drastically. Almost had a D (barely a C). That's basically failing in my household. The pressure to be a perfect student from my parents is a lot to handle, and made me care about school less and less.

Saw my mental health has also taken a sharp downhill incline. I feel like I can't talk to my closest friends and family, not that I can be around people anyways (which isn't helping either), and I feel like I'd be a burden on them. I don't want to say anything because I'm afraid of seeming like it's just for attention since one of my siblings started therapy this year.

Almost started a relationship with my crush. They agreed to go out with me, but then their parents intervened and nothing happened. They asked to just go back to friend, and I agreed. That's worse then just being rejected, being that close.

Then springing from that, I stopped talking to a friend. They really pissed me off, more then I've ever been. They called me a bunch of names for not "fighting for" my crush. I was respecting their wishes and my friend didn't recognize that, and they kept pushing and pushing, and eventually said some things that hurt me (Basically called homosexuality a phase). I've had other issues with this person before, so I just cut off all contact at this point.

I don't mean to say all these things to get your pity. I want you to take this page, and just rant. Tell me the bad or the good or both. Say what you need to say. I'm tired of being bottled in, and I'm sure a lot of you feel that way too. So vent away.