Heartbreaker ~ Larry Stylinson {English}

16. Who we used to be.

~ Pov Louis ~ 

After deciding to skip class for a while, Harry and I walk through the park near school. We couldn't just go to class after what happened, besides I think we need to talk more about it. Because so many things don't add up and I'm just so confused about all of this.

I turn my phone off when Liam calls for the hundredth time. He and Niall have been blowing up my phone, asking questions I don't want to answer right now. I put my hands in my pockets as it starts to get cold. I walk beside Harry and look at the ground as I ask him: "Can I ask you a question?" "You just did." I decide to ignore his comment. "How does Zayn know everything? And don't say he lied about those things too, because he was very specific about the things we said and did." Harry sighs and bites his bottom lip as he keeps his eyes on the pathway. "Zayn knows because I told him." "But why? Why would you tell him? I thought you wanted to keep it a secret." "Because Zayn is my best friend. I told him everything. The fact that I kissed you because I missed you and that I decided it was dumb to get you back that way and that you kissed me after I said that. And now we-," he stops himself. "Yeah. Because now we..." I sigh.

"I trust him. He's my best friend." I try to hold in a laugh. "Nice best friend you have." Harry looks at me with a frown. "What do you mean? Zayn is a good friend." "Yeah, that's why you guys yelled at each other earlier in the hallway. That's why I sometimes see you fighting like you want to kill each other. But you're right. You guys really are best friends," I say sarcastically. He shrugs. "That's just part of the friendship." I bite my lip. "It wasn't that way with us." He looks at me from the side and sighs as he is thinking of an answer. "Our friendship was different." I nod and continue to walk in silence while the wind blows against our skin.

"Besides Zayn won't say anything. No one else knows besides him and I'd like to keep it that way if you don't mind." "What are we hiding anyway? I mean what is this? You kissed me. And I kissed you. And now?" "I don't know to be honest." "Do you think that we," I start, but I stop myself. I don't want to know the answer to be honest. "Do I think what?" "Nothing. Never mind." Harry stops walking causing me to stop with him. "Tell me. I won't laugh." I laugh ironically. "You have never done otherwise." "Louis, just tell me." "It's stupid. Not even worth thinking of." "Louis," he insists, a slight harsh tone in his voice. I sigh. "Do you think we can ever be friends again? I mean that same friendship we had when we were kids. The friendship you wanted back from me?"

His jaw slightly drops as he clearly didn't expect that question. "Louis, I- I don't quite know how to answer that." I bite my lip. "It's okay. I didn't really expect an answer." He sighs. "I think so." I look at him. "I hope so. It's why I came back to you. Because I missed it. I missed you. So yeah, I think we can get that back. I mean right now we're doing good, aren't we? Doesn't that make us friends?" I chuckle. "We're doing good? Oh yeah just like we did good at that stupid party of yours? Or like an hour ago?" He wrinkles his nose while he rolls with his eyes and I could swear I saw him hiding a small smile. "I mean we're doing better than before. We're not ignoring each other anymore. And when we talk we're using more than just swear words." "We do more than just talking...," I whisper mostly to myself, but Harry clearly heard. He playfully nudges my shoulder and I swear I saw a second smile. "Hmm and suddenly you aren't that shy anymore." I look at him with a tough look. "I was never shy." "Yeah as if!," he laughs and it feels so good to finally hear that sound again. "You blushed like a tomato when I kissed you!" "Tomato's don't blush." He rolls his eyes at me. "And that's different. When you kiss me, I mean. Its intimate ." "Much more intimate," he winks extravagantly and this time it's my turn to give him a playful push against his shoulder while we walk some more.

Harry clears his throat and I look at him from the corner of my eye. "I think we're on the way to a friendship. But I can't say with certainty if it will ever be the same. Hell, for all I know we couldn't even be on talking terms by tomorrow." I bite my bottom lip. "Why do you think that?" He sighs deeply. "Because we're not who we used to be. We've both changed, Louis. A few weeks ago we ignored each other and look at us now. All I'm saying is, is that I could say that we will be best friends again, that everything will go back as if nothing ever happened. But I can't promise you that. I don't want to. Because a promise is the one thing we break most as a human." I nod, not knowing what to say, so I don't.

"We could try. Try to get along, be friends, be us. But just know that there's a chance we'll be going our own way. Sometimes people are not destined to be together." I nod in silence. "But," he says wit a smile, "as long as that doesn't happen, we could try to get along. So what would say if watch a movie at my place? See it as a new start for us." A friendship we'll drop at one point?

I look at my watch. "If we go back now we could still catch the last hours of school." "Are you serious right now?" I shrug. "School is important." "So are we. Besides, we're already skipping class so why don't enjoy it while it lasts?" He does got a point, we're already in the wrong. But I still hesitate. "And what should I tell my parents? They're going to kill me if they found out I'm not in school when I should be." I feel the panic rushing through my body as I think of their possible reactions, but I don't let Harry see it.

"Just say that a random student hit you in school and that I took you to the park to calm you down as you were upset. Your parents like me anyway and part of it is true." I raise my eyebrows. "And why can't I say the random student was Zayn?" "Because he's my best friend. You don't betray that person," he says while shrugging. "Right... Okay, deal. But you're the one dropping me home en telling them." A grin adorns his lips. "Deal." 

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Happy New Year everyone!

I wish all of you a healthy and happy year and may all of your wishes and desires come true x