Heartbreaker ~ Larry Stylinson {English}

31. Harder.

Song for this chapter:

Feel Something - Jaymes Young

~ Pov Harry ~ 

Night falls. The sky turns dark. The sound of the running shower fills the empty room. Thoughts drive me crazy. Thoughts of how the water touches every part of his body. How he trusts every drop. How he is on the other side of the wall. Door closed and locked. Separated from me. I would like nothing more than to be a drop. On his body.

Louis opens the door. His hair is wet and messy. Immediately I feel the urge to have him close to me, closer than ever. I take his wrists and pull him out of the hotel room into the hallway. "Harry what the-" I press him roughly against the wall and my lips immediately find their way to his. My hands grab his hips but Louis gently pushes me back. "Harry," he whispers. "We shouldn't be here this late." I look down on him.

"Okay," I whisper back. "Then we'll go somewhere else."

Still hesitating I intertwine our fingers. My hand shakes. My heart beats faster. My head is pounding. My teeth leave a mark on my lower lip. His blue eyes are more and more painful to look into. I choke on my feelings and lies and can no longer make distinctions. Wrong from right. Lies from truth. Craving, desire, longing, eagerness... It drives me insane.

At our tips we sneak through the hotel, carefully on the fire escape, slowly out and away from people who don't suspect anything. I open the door and pull Louis up onto the roof. He looks around and grins. "I don't think this is so much better than the hallway. We shouldn't be here at all!"

I gently push him against the door. He looks up. His gaze lingers on my eyes.

"But no one will ever find out that we were here." I bring my lips to his, but before they can make contact, Louis withdraws. He frowns.

"Harry... Is something wrong?" I shake my head.

"No. Why would there be something wrong?"

"You're acting weird." I sigh and look away. "This has been going on for months and I have no clue what you're thinking, what you want from me. But right now, in this moment, it feels different than before. You kiss me, you. Out of nowhere and for no reason. You hate it when I touch you. You hold me. It doesn't stop at a finger or a hand. You hold me, me."

My hands leave his body and with my head pointed to the ground I walk to the railing of the roof. My head is pounding, my breathing fastens, it's like I'm no longer in control of anything. My eyes scan the view. His steps are getting closer and before I know it he's standing next to me.

"I brought you here to be alone with you," I tell him. He runs his hands through his hair and a few drops from the sky fall on his shoulders.

"That's the problem. You do these things out of nowhere. Things you would never do."

I roll my eyes at him. "I don't see why that's a problem, Louis."

"Yeah, you don't see it. That's the problem," he snarls at me. Flashes of light from above bounce off his skin.

"What exactly do you mean?" Hopelessly, he throws his hands up. Not knowing what to say. "I'm doing this for you!," I throw at him as I face him. "I'm doing all this for you and only you!" With slumped shoulders, he walks to the door when thunder sounds in the distance. When he takes the handle, he looks over his shoulder at me.

"Are you sure you're doing this for me? Or is that just a lie to make you feel better? To hide?"

"Hide from what?"

"Yourself. Me."

He opens the door and I rush towards him. With a bang I push it back shut. I push him roughly against the wood. "What's your fucking problem?" I breathe against his lips.

"You. You make it so much more harder for me with your strange behavior." My fingers stroke his jawline.

"Why is this harder for you?" He looks at me with a watery smile.

"Can't you see it then?" I bite my lip.

"Maybe."

"Then why are you ignoring it?"

"Because otherwise you make it hard for me..."

I kiss his lips with a sigh. Short. And then I let go of him. My forehead leaning against his. "Let's ignore it for just a little longer..." Louis brings his trembling fingers to my face.

"I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it in before I scream it to your face." I chuckle.

"Kiss Me." He looks at me. And then gently presses his lips against mine. My fingers run through his hair while his restlessly runs over my back. He pulls on my sweater as if to rip the fabric off my body.

"Teach me," he sighs against my skin.

"What?" I moan as his lips explore my neck.

"I want you to teach me more. Now." I nod with my eyes closed and let his lips make marks on my body.

"Okay..."

And without realising it, I only make it harder for myself.

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I love writing this story