Heartbreaker ~ Larry Stylinson {English}

63. Babysteps.

~ Pov Louis ~ 

The cold wind blows in my face as I stand in front of the school gate. It's mid-November and I haven't come to school for a full month. After I was released from the hospital, my parents sent me to a drug rehabilitation center. I had to follow strict rules and was not allowed to receive visitors, but I still wanted to get better so I learned to live with that.

"Louis?"

I turn around and see Liam standing in front of me with Niall behind him. I smile and immediately take them into a long hug. "We missed you," Liam mutters against my shoulder.

"I missed you guys too," I tell them as I release them.

"Are you back? For good?," Niall asks hopefully. I nod.

"Yes. I can go back to school and I can meet anyone I want, but I have to continue the conversations with the psychologist."

As we walk onto the schoolyard I feel a few looks on me. Everyone must have heard the gossip, such things happen quickly, but I don't care. "What was it like at the rehabilitation center? Was it terrible?" I shake my head with a small smile.

"No. Not at all. Of course there were a lot of strict rules and we had to stick to a strict schedule, but the people there were super friendly."

"What did you have to do there?" We sit on one of the benches, waiting for the bell.

"We had to get up at 7am after which we had breakfast with all the teenagers who were also in the program. We had to do the dishes and clean up ourselves. At 8am we usually had a group session where everyone told why they were there. It was incredibly scary because I didn't know those people but I realized they just wanted to get better just like me. Everyone had a story to tell that sounded so much worse than mine. I was ashamed that my problem was so minor compared to theirs. Luckily they didn't think that way and I felt right at home there. It was a safe place."

Liam takes a breath. "It doesn't sound easy," he says. I nod.

"It wasn't."

"How did the conversations with the psychologist go?," Niall asks cautiously. I sigh.

"Difficult. The first week I sat there, I didn't say a word to her. I didn't dare, so she decided to talk to me about her own problems. At first I didn't understand where she was going with her stories, but then I understood that she just wanted to reassure me that it's okay to talk about personal stuff and that there wouldn't be any judging. After that it became much easier and I could talk for a full hour. She's very understanding and a big help so I'm happy that I will still have those conversations weekly."

"Did you talk about him?," Liam asks. I know who he's talking about.

"Yeah. He's the reason I was there, so yeah. Actually, I was only talking about him." My mind flashes back to one of the last sessions.

~ Flashback to November 13 ~

Marie walks into the room where I'm already stretched out on the couch. "Louis," she smiles. I look up. "You know you don't have to lay on that couch every session."

"I know, but it's comfortable." She sits across from me.

"I heard you're going home tomorrow." I remain silent. "How do you feel about that?" I shrug.

"Anxious."

"Why anxious?"

"I'm afraid that from the moment I can go back outside, I'll pick up my bad habits again."

"You mean the drugs and the alcohol?" I nod doubtfully.

"And Harry..."

She looks up. "What do you think you'll do when you get the chance to see him again?"