Little did he Know || Tronnor

Chapter 14

Troye

A week. A week since Connor has told me he loved me. That week has been hard. So hard. Each day felt like more weight on me. Just the whole week piled up and now I feel so weighed down. So....empty yet so full and useless.

Connor and I have been seeing each other, but we don't stay in the same apartment. Well really I never leave my apartment, he just always comes and sees me.

I love him, I really do, but I'm just struggling. I can't find a happy place no matter how hard I try. At least he can put a smile on my face that isn't fake like I usually do.

When he does come over we always sit on the couch and watch some sort of movie or just share funny stories. When he leaves though I crawl back under the covers of my bed and stay there.

I try to spent more time with Connor because it seems like that is the only time I can actually escape from my thoughts and myself. Ever since I hurt Connor, I just haven't been a really happy person.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I threw the covers off my frail body and walked to my front door. I plastered a smile on my face and turned the handle open.

"Hi Troye boy." Connor said with a smile on his face. "Hello Con." I said trying to force enthusiasm in my voice.

He pulled me in his arms for a hug and nuzzled his head into my neck. Before he pulled away he gave my neck just a little peck. After the embrace was over, he stepped into my apartment.

I was happy that I didn't have to clean lately, because I was never out in my living room anymore. Connor took a step into my clean living room still having a smile on his face.

He turned back to face me and his smile turned to a frown. "What wrong Troye?" He asked with concern.

"Nothing" I lied. "Troye don't lie to me, I know there is something wrong." He responded quickly almost like he had rehearsed it.

"It's nothing." I lied once more. "Oh, I , know that it isn't just nothing. Every time I come over here the living room is spotless almost like you never leave your room, and you never genuinely , smile anymore. You also haven't gone outside for a whole week, you haven't even gone to the grocery store Troye! What do you eat!" Connor yelled, his voice slowly rising.

I backed up into the hall leading to the bedroom, my lip quivering.

"What's wrong Troye?" Connor said lowering the volume of his voice by plenty. He started walking towards me slowly with his arms open wide.

I walked into his arms a tucked my head into his neck this time. "Please?" Connor whispered into my unstyled hair.

"I'm just..." I trailed off.

"What?" Connor whispered back.

"It's just....." We sat in silence for about half a minute.

"Hard, so hard." I finished.

"Troye, please remember I love you, you are worth something, you are not useless and you really mean something to me." Connor said his voice cracking a bit.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Connor added making some tears cascade down my cheeks.

"You make me happy, so happy Troye. I can't bare seeing you go through pain. What am I doing wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, you have done nothing wrong." I stated into his neck, telling the truth this time.

"Then what is it sweetheart?" He asked gently.

"It's just ever since I screwed up I can't seem to...find a happy place. You make me happy, don't get me wrong Connor. It's just I don't feel whole or happy with myself." I said slowly getting quieter and quieter.

He didn't respond, but just grabbed my had and pulled me towards the front door. He turned the handle and opened it with ease. He then pulled me out into the fresh air.

It was about eight in the morning now so the air was still slightly cool.

"This is what you've missed here." Connor said motioning his hands into the open and fresh air.

He then laced his hand with mine again and pulled me to his apartment, our feet slapping the cold ground.

"This is another thing you have missed." He added motioning his arms once more, but now in the doors direction.

He opened his door after unlocking it. He pulled me in and I took a look around. It was just like how I remembered it to be. So warm and cozy with a slight scent of coffee filling the air.

"You've also missed this." he said again pointing his arms to the room.

He pulled me even farther and into the hall. Our footsteps echoed off the halls as he lead me into his room. His bed was made so perfectly and the sun reflected off his walls from the open window.

He said nothing this time, but just pulled me to his bed. He pulled back the thick sheet and got under. He turned on his side to face me. I then realized once again how beautiful he was.

He patted the empty space next to him on the bed. I then dragged myself over to the bed and laid down.

Connor soon pulled me to his chest and placed his lips on the top of my head, giving it a kiss.

His arms were so warm as they were so tightly wrapped around me.

"See your not useless or worthless, you are my cuddle buddy." Connor said pulling his head back and placing a kiss on my forehead.

And for the first time in a whole week, I smiled. I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt and my eyes squeezed shut. It was because of this beautiful boy laying in front of me.

Authors note:
Yep I made this and I'm not really proud of it, it just seems bluh. On another note, Thank you so much for the comments and votes, they truly put a smile on my face so thank you. Hope you enjoy lovelies :)💕