Little did he Know || Tronnor

Chapter 38

Troye

I woke up to a view I just couldn't look away from. It was simple, but it sent a surge of warmness through my body.

Connor stood at the foot of the bed turned so his back was facing me as he watched out the window. The view made something flash in my mind. A memory. It wasn't that long ago. I was the one standing in this room all alone, staring out the window. I had much less to worry about back then. Even if it was just mere months ago. I was the only one in the dimly lit room until someone had decided to join me. That person being Connor. That was a special night. The night we exchanged our first kiss. So much was happening at that time. I had just moved here, just got a new apartment and had barely lived here before I threw myself into a relationship and I wouldn't trade anything for that.

"I love you."

I smiled in response. He hadn't even turned around yet. He must of heard me stir around or something.

"I love you too."

My mind shifted to our conversation from last night. I don't think Connor fully understood. I wanted to move. Not just because I was scared. And I'll totally admit I was scared, but because I wanted to keep Connor safe. I didn't want him to have to go through the same thing I did. I want him to stay here with me. We've already been separated for long enough.

"Are you ready to move?" He finally turned around as he asked the question.

"What?" I shot up into a sitting position. Was there something I had missed or what? Was I talking in my sleep again?

"Well do you want to move or not?"

"I do" I responded pulling the covers off of my legs. "But I'm pretty sure last time I checked, you wanted to stay here." I touched the tips of my toes to the floor soon bringing my feet down as well.

"And I'm pretty sure last time I checked I said we'd sleep on it. Didn't we just sleep?" He asked taking a few steps toward me before I had even gotten to my feet.

"Well yeah, but I just assumed that you'd have the same opinion as last night." I huffed, getting to a standing position in front of Connor.

He didn't respond, but just smiled at me. It wasn't one of those smiles he used in pictures where he flashed his teeth. Somehow he still made it look comforting though. It was a warm and sincere smile. I couldn't help but smile my crooked smile right back at him.

He took one last step toward me before reaching out his arms and wrapping them around my thin frame. I wrapped my hands around his lower back as his sat at my shoulders. He made anything better. He made me feel safer. He was just what I needed. It may have sounded selfish but it was true. He was the only one I needed.

"So...do you want to move still?" Connor asked and I could somehow hear the hint of wariness in his voice.

I pulled my head so I made eye contact with him.

"I want to move, but I'd only ever do it if you came with me and it was something that you actually wanted."

He closed his eyes and brought his face back into the space between my neck and shoulder, nuzzling his head in.

"I want to whatever is best for us. For both of us." He mumbled into my unclothed shoulder, placing a light kiss to my pale skin.

"I don't want to rush anything though." I said. I truly didn't though. I felt like I was guilting him into doing this. Hell I just asked yesterday and I already felt bad about it.

"Troye you aren't rushing any damn thing. This is probably some of the slowest times we've had lately, don't sweat it. If anything it's probably a good idea we do it soon." His words tickled at my skin as he spoke.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself we haven't even planned anything yet. Here we are talking about moving soon to who knows where, and who knows when. We had nothing planned but when I thought about it, we really had never planned, it just kind of happened. Maybe we should keep it that way.

"Where do you want to move?"

"Why do we have to decide that now?"

"I don't know."

"We're moving?"

"We're moving."

"I don't know when or how we're going to do it."

"Oh we can do it. Oh hell of course we can do it."

You have to live in the moment. You can't just wait. I've already learned that. I know that. Someone could be here one second and gone the next. A special opportunity could be her one day and gone the next. It was that way for everything. Live now, not later. I think that was some of the things that influenced me to come up with this idea to move, to leave, to go somewhere new.

I was quick. A spur of the moment decision that had changed a lot. I mean a lot. We were moving. We were leaving. Practically abandoning our dreams. Not entirely though. We weren't leaving each other. We were only leaving California, the place that was suppose to help stabilize our careers. The place that had seemed like a dream opportunity to live in. We no longer cared. We didn't need to live here just to help ourselves. If our viewers liked us, then great. We find need California to make us 'famous'.

I knew after we figured all this out that we would do this fast, but I didn't realize how fast. Not how fast until I was actually sitting here, packing things into boxes. Watching our apartments get slightly more and more empty as each day pasted and a new one began. This was really happening. We were moving. It was for the better. We were going to start fresh, start somewhat new.